A break...

I decided to take a break from blogging...just not as fufilling as it has been in the past and I feel it has become a burden instead of something fun to do. So I hope that the rest of the summer is wonderful for you and that the fall brings lots of joy.

She stole my heart....

Victoria turned 3 today!!! I can't believe that is had been three years since I held her in my arms for the first time. Kissing those chubby cheeks, counting every finger and every toe, looking at her full head of hair...brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Being on bedrest for 12 weeks was rough but completely worth it!

She is an amazing little girl and I am soooo happy and proud to be able to say that I am her Mommy. She is definitely starting to show her personality more and more. She loves to cheer and encourage people on. She is starting to sing more and more and also dances while she sings. She loves to make people laugh and she is still a snuggle bug which warms this Mommy's heart.

I continue to pray that God will use me to help lead this little girl to where He wants her to be and that she will seek Him. Something that I pray for both of my girls.

I love you Victoria!!!

Sensational Six

So I would love to come to you all upbeat and with all the blessings in my life I should...unfortunately I am feeling kind of sad and disappointed. I am hoping that reviewing just some of my blessing will help my mood...

~listening to Alyssa read. I am so proud of her!!!
~listening to Victoria encourage everyone...she is always cheering people on...does that mean she will be a cheerleader?
~watching Ryan, Alyssa and Victoria swimming in my parent's pool. They all get really excited and have lots of fun and giggles!
~Simple as going grocery shopping with the girls...we went to Sam's Club and Walmart just the three of us and they just had me laughing the whole time.
~Spending some one on one time with my dad at his office while I was researching some fun activities for Alyssa's school year
~my family, extended, blood and non-blood related...all though we all have the same Heavenly Father

Sensational Six

So I am late once again with my blogging...bad me! Yeah things are crazy right now but I should be able to put some words down right?! Hehehehe...ok once again I will try to do better. I have decided not to write as often about my eating habit/lifestyle change so that one will have to wait BUT I love love love to talk about my wonderful blessings that are too numerous to count but like to highlight.

~shopping with my mom, Tanis and my good friend Michelle. We went GoodWilling and I have to tell ya that Tanis and my mom totally won the endurance shopping award. By the last store I was done. I had to go shopping because I needed pants that fit and so that I could actually run after the girls without hiking the pants up or grabbing a hold of them so that they didn't fall. So I was excited to buy clothes two sizes smaller!! Yay a completely different rack!!
~Kidz Carnival!! It was great time and we couldn't have prayed for a better day!! The sun was out but there was a slight wind so that it didn't get too hot. The parents got to play with their children and it was great seeing that relationship! And we saw dads that we don't always see!! You totally could tell that the kids were having a blast and I have to admit..SO WAS I!!!
~Watching Alyssa and Victoria both singing and dancing at the Carnival. They were doing the motions and singing their little hearts out. I love watching that...singing praises to the Lord!!!
~Za Hut!! hehehehehehe Having supper with my family at Pizza Hut...all my nephews, my niece, my sister, my brother, Ryan, the girls, Mom and Dad. Their multigrain pizza crust is really really good!!
~Going to a Portland Sea Dogs game with the youth group. The night started off a little rocky but it improved immensely...I am not quite sure though...who had more fun...the teens or the adults...hmmmmmm...really close call!
~My wonderful amazing husband who has been putting in long hrs. His day job is going well but he has been putting in the hours for his consulting business. He is amazing. He still makes time for the girls, me, my parents, our friends and the youth group.AND doing his daily devotional for his 'me' time with God...don't really know how he does it all. Love you long time babe!

All together now!!!

My sensational six will include my weigh in so hold on tight!!........

~So right of the bat let's start with...I MET MY GOAL!!! Yup I met my goal for my weight loss!! I have officially lost 45lbs!!! WAHHOOOO!!!!! I am sooooo excited. So the last step is maintaining...hard one huh...I know but I am really for it. So I was trying to figure out my maintenance calories and it just seems like a huge jump!! It as an extra 500 calories a day and I was like WOW!! But it makes me scared because I don't want to gain. So I am increasing it slowly and then going from there...starting with only increasing 250 calories. This also means figuring out how to balance my calories through out the day though again. So it is a little bit more of an adjustment then I thought that it would be but it is all good.
~Reuniting with a old high school friend. It was soooo much fun hanging with her again and the girls and her kiddos had a lot of fun playing with each other.
~Celebrating my grandmother's 80th birthday!! We went to Olive Garden and then back to my parents house for ice cream cake...I had my 100 calorie ice cream sandwich...hehehehe. She was totally thrilled to be surrounded by her family and you could definitely tell. She was allll smiles. You should have seen the girls making her birthday cards...they were working really hard!
~Victoria being the first one to stick her feet in my parent's pool. "Mimi...the water is blue and not green!!" "Mimi it is cold!!" "Mimi your turn!!"
~Seeing the sun!!!! Enjoying it's warmth!!! It was wonderful!!!
~ The 4th of July!!! It was an amazing time spending it with family and friends!! The parade in our new seating area...it was great!! The fireworks at our old area but with some new friends. It was just a fun time even though it did rain for the fireworks....BUT that is what the canopy was for! Lots of laughing does the body and soul good!!!

Praying for the sun to stay so that we can soak up some more rays!!!

Happy 4th of July!!!

Just a reminder to keep all the troops in our prayers and to thank God for this country that we live it. His Will be done!!



America the Beautiful
Words by Katharine Lee Bates,Melody by Samuel Ward

O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties Above the fruited plain! America! America! God shed his grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea! O beautiful for pilgrim feet Whose stern impassioned stressA thoroughfare of freedom beat Across the wilderness! America! America! God mend thine every flaw, Confirm thy soul in self-control, Thy liberty in law! O beautiful for heroes proved In liberating strife. Who more than self their country lovedAnd mercy more than life! America! America! May God thy gold refine Till all success be nobleness And every gain divine! O beautiful for patriot dream That sees beyond the years Thine alabaster cities gleam Undimmed by human tears! America! America! God shed his grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea! O beautiful for halcyon skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties Above the enameled plain! America! America! God shed his grace on thee Till souls wax fair as earth and air And music-hearted sea! O beautiful for pilgrims feet, Whose stem impassioned stress A thoroughfare for freedom beat Across the wilderness! America! America! God shed his grace on thee Till paths be wrought through wilds of thought By pilgrim foot and knee! O beautiful for glory-tale Of liberating strife When once and twice, for man's avail Men lavished precious life! America! America! God shed his grace on thee Till selfish gain no longer stain The banner of the free! O beautiful for patriot dream That sees beyond the years Thine alabaster cities gleam Undimmed by human tears! America! America! God shed his grace on thee Till nobler men keep once again Thy whiter jubilee!

Once again hitting two with one!

Busy busy week and weekend but lots of fun!!

Sensational Six

~Hanging out with Mom and Dad...lots of fun and love them very much
~Watching Ryan's relationship grow more and more with my parents. They love him so much and watching him allow them to get closer instead of keeping up the wall does this wife's heart lots of good.
~The funny stories that Tori tells...she just makes me laugh.
~Listening to Alyssa read by herself.
~My wonderful friends. Just wonderful to spend time with them and talk, laugh and giggle.
~Going to Rookie night...I really enjoy being involved with the teens and wish that I could do more.

Weekly Weigh In

Not really a lot to say today because there was no change in the scale #. Saddens me some BUT as the same time I have had a few big weeks the last couple of weeks so that doesn't necessarily surprise me either. So I press on...

Weekly weigh in!

Well this week was an interesting week because there was a lot of celebrating going on. Which made me think ok so can I do this without having to plan everything? We went out to eat on Monday, which I did do the research for the restaurant that we went to BUT I went to a rehearsal dinner, and wedding and didn't plan my food really at all. I just took the information that I had in my head and made appropriate decisions...this was a great feeling because it made me realize...this is really a change in my habits!! The other challenge I had this week was celebrating Father's Day at my parent's house. All the food that I love...yum. I was all about portion control and also using the information stored in my head so that I could stay in my calorie range. So my reward when I stepped on the scale was...I lost 3.5lbs!! I was soooo excited because to me it was just validating the change that I had made in my eating habits. I am continuing with my exercise routine...still trying to change it up some so that my mind and my body doesn't get bored with it. Til next week!

Sensational Six

Once again a wonderful week with my family and friends so many blessings.....

~Happy Anniversary to us!! Ryan and I celebrated our 7th Wedding Anniversary!! Ryan and I have been together for 13 years...met in highschool, dated for 6 years which got us through college and then married. He is an amazingly strong Christian man, husband, father and my best friend. I love you!!
~We celebrated my dad's 60th birthday this week. Even though he really didn't like the number, we had lots of fun at Longhorn's...hehehehe...and they even sung to him! The girls had a fun time with their Bampy and gave him some extra loves that day.
~Going to a championship game...although the team that we were routing for didn't win, hanging out with family and friends was great! It was a nice sunny day and there were lots of laughter to go around even with the loss.
~Technology...I know that sounds really funny but it is sooooo true. Because of it, I can still stay connected with my dear friends...even though we may not be able to see eachother we can still stay connected through the internet and IMs
~Being involved in our friend's wedding. They met at our small group and watching their relationship grow was amazing. It was great to see two people saving themselves for their wedding night and keeping their dating and engagement God centered.
~The friends that God has brought into my life....they just make me smile and I love them soooooo much!

So let's do two in one!!

Sensational Six!!

~Having lunch with my family and extended family. There was lots of laughter and giggles. The girls really enjoyed seeing everyone and so did I!!
~church softball games....sssssooooooo much fun. A great time of fellowship for the whole family...Ryan with the guys, me with the gals and the girls with all of their friends (running around and playing in dirt what could be more fun!). Mom and Dad are coming to watch the games more this year than last year and more quality time with them.
~Being able to go over to a dear friend's house and play with her chickens and pigs!! The girls had a blast and she and her whole family treat us amazingly. The girls are still talking about the chickens and when can we go back again...hehehehehe.
~Snuggling with Tori. She had a bad dream (which isn't a blessing BUT) she came in and slept and snuggled with me all night while Ryan was gone. Through out the night I felt little arms reaching over and hug my arm tighter or little hands rubbing my face oh so gently.
~Listening to Alyssa read. She is doing so well and get excited about it. We are starting to also read before she goes to bed...sometime just for momma, sometimes for the whole family. It is just amazing to see her brain expand in knowledge.
~my amazing friends! To name a few that have blessed me this week. Janet making me cry tears of joy with her kind and generous words in her blog...I love you my BFF!! Dawn for loving me and my girls and opening up her "farm" to us. Jana for the wonderful message and phone call that I received...even when she was down and out she emailed me and then called me and her words were warming!!

So that should catch me up to Saturday when I usually post it...so will have to tell more blessings next Saturday and believe me there are so many already!!! So to the weigh in...not really going to go into detail too much about what I am doing because it has been talked about. What I am going to talk about is that more people around me are starting to try this diet change which I think is great because they are starting to take care of themselves but also it is great to have the support for each other. My BFF and I started this back in Feb and it has been a fun journey together and now we have more people hoping on board!! So the weigh in.....I lost another 2 lbs!! Yay!!! Getting closer to reaching that goal!!! So that is a total of 37.5lb!! I am starting to where jeans that I haven't worn since before Alyssa!! Doing a happy dance over here!!!

Mr. Sun

Alyssa, Victoria and I were all heading into town for lunch with Ryan and my dad. Tori is staring into space out the window...

Victoria: "Momma, where did the sun go?"

Alyssa: "It's in the sky"

Me: "The sun is hiding behind the clouds"

Victoria throws her hands up the in the air, throws her head back and says "Again!! Momma why is the sun playing hide-n-seek?"

Week 16

So I am excited this week because according to the Wii Fit I have finally hit the "normal" range of what my BMI should be...I lost another 4 lbs which completely surprised me!! So the grand total would be 35.5lbs!! So I am continuing with the Jazzercise but doing it on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays and then go on the Wii fit for about 30 minutes after that. On Tuesdays, Thursday, Saturdays and Sundays I am on the Wii fit for at least an hour...some times more and I try to mix it up with Strength and Yoga and then aerobics OR balance games and more aerobics. I am trying to change it up some so that I don't get "bored" in too much of a routine and start wanting to skip my exercise. I was really wondering if I would use the Wii fit but I am enjoying it so much. I am still having a hard time figuring out family gatherings though when there is so much food that I want to eat. My family tries really hard to make sure that there is food there that would be in my calorie range but it is still hard sometimes. What I need to start doing when I know that a family gathering is going to happen to to zig zag my calories and I just forget to do that the day before and after. I am still learning and starting to get a hang of it. I still have a little more work to do but I am getting closer. I thought that I would be done by this goal but I think that I have changed my mind and would like to get in the middle of the normal range of the BMI index that the Wii Fit says. So another goal has been set for me.

So til next weigh in!

Sensational Six!!!

Taking time to remember all the wonderful blessings! So many to choose from....so hard!

~getting back into the church softball season. Although it can be long, I enjoy it completely! The girls get to play with friends and so do I!!!
~first week of summer vacation!!
~playing at the park with the girls and great friends. The sun was out and the wind was blowing just slightly so that it made it a beautiful day to be outside!
~the amazing weather that we have been having.
~A full hr of snuggles with my girls in the morning...it was just what I needed to start the day!
~spending a fun filled day with the girls and my dad watching the sons of a couple of friends play baseball. It was a great day all around. The boys did great in their games, spending some quality time with friends, Dad (Bampy as the girls would say), and the girls, the sun shining...absolutely wonderful!!!

See you next week!!

Carrots please?

I had to share this quick little story. We were planting a garden tonight; Ryan, the girls, mom, dad, and gram. It was a little buggy but still lots of fun. Alyssa look at mom and asked what we were going to plant. My mom showed her the different bags of seeds that we were going to plant...summer squash, pumpkins, carrots. CARROTS....a not so little voice of Tori speaks up. "I like carrots" Next thing I know she is in the kitchen grabbing a bag of leftover carrots from dinner and bringing them to my mom. "Mimi, I have the carrots to plant!"

Week 15

So I am going to admit that I am disappointed even though I probably shouldn't be. I wasn't able to really do the Jazzercising this week. I had some type of head congestion going on and trying to do that was really difficult! Then towards the end of the week, there is still something going on that is plugging up my ears and throwing my balance off. Plus I CAN'T stand when my ears are plugged...it drives me nuts!!! So it was just the Wii Fit and I for the week, which I have fun doing and it does work. I have probably been cheating a little bit more also...staying in my calorie range but having a few more sweets then I probably should..these last few pounds are going to be hardest. Anyways I only lost 1lb this week. I am little frustrated and disappointed and like I said...I shouldn't be because I am still losing. Well I am off to try to enjoy this nice sunny day outside.
Til next time!

Sensational Six

Well I am a little late on doing this post, sorry about that!

~First time homeschooling and we are done. Yay! I am so proud of Alyssa. I asked her if she wanted to do this again next year and she said "YYYEEEESSS!"
~Having a great relationship with my parents. It is so nice to sit down and talk with them and watch them love my girls.
~The teens in youth group. They are a great bunch of kids and they are all so willing to help. They are amazing young men and women.
~A great long weekend with Ryan. It was nice to have him home and the girls loved that extra day with daddy.
~Actually falling asleep before 10:00 and sleeping through the night. That seriously has not happened in years. Sleep and I usually do not get along very well so that one night was amazing.
~Spending time with Ryan who loves me unconditionally

Can't wait for next week!

Schoooool's out for summer!!!

So I have finished my first year of homeschooling. I would have to say that I do think that it was a success. I won't lie, there were ups and downs. Times were I doubted myself and actually two times I was ready to quit. I am sure that the times of doubt will come and go but I really truly believe that at this point in time I am suppose to homeschool and that I will get better at it with time. I did the Kindergarten curriculum through Christian Liberty Press for Alyssa and have been really happy with it. I have already purchased (and received her curriculum for next year). I enrolled her in Christian Liberty Academy School System to start their Advanced Kindergarten curriculum. I am really excited and I like the way that they do things in their curriculum and I love the paper trail that comes along with enrolling them in CLASS...they will help grade, keep transcripts, help if needed and lots more. So this year I called it my practice year but I wanted to act like it was going to count so that I was a little more prepared for next year when I would have to do all of the paperwork. I think that Alyssa has had fun with homeschooling also. Her brain amazes me constantly! So for now we are off to have a great summer vacation and I hope that you all have wonderful one also!!

Week 14!!!

Happy Memorial Day everyone!!! A little time to reflect on how great we have it here in the United States. True there are some moral, ethical and other issues that I disagree with here but we do live a great country. We are free to worship the Creator of the universe where there are others that are killed for doing so. I thank God and all the men & women who have served for this country...those that have lost their lives, those who were captured, those who were hurt, and those who are serving right now as I type this...all that fight to preserve the freedom that we have. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!
So just had to throw that in there because I believe that we need to take the time to show respect to where it is deserved. So to the life style change...it is going very well. I lost another 1.5 pounds this week which brings my total to 30.5lbs!!! YAY!!! I am feeling pretty good about myself and that I actually have done this. I can look at myself in the mirror and say "I don't look that bad" which was really hard for me to do before I started the life change. Then I would just look and say...ugh. I actually wore shorts and a skirt the other day in public and didn't feel that self conscious about it!! So I am continuing with my Wii fit and Jazzercise and glad that I can show my girls healthy habits not just tell them.
See ya next weigh in!!!

Funny stories

~Alyssa and Victoria were playing around and all of suddened I heard a 'crunch'. Victoria's sunglasses broke. I was waiting for the tears to come but instead she very seriously came up to me and said, "Oh no, my sunglasses broke...I need some duct tape!"

~We were at a wedding and during the ceremony Tori saw the cake (it was an outside wedding and reception).
Tori: "Mommy cake!!! I want cake!!"

Me: "Shhhhh....we have to wait until the ceremony is over baby"

Tori...complete silence.

A little bit later the ceremony was done....

Tori: "Mommy, it all done! We can have cake!!"

Sensational Six

Again lots of up and downs this week but so many blessings in my life.

~My uncle coming home after stint in the hospital again after open heart surgery of having his aortic valve replaced and his mitral valve repaired. He is so strong and so is my Aunt. I love them dearly and they mean so much to me. He helped build our house and to be able to be there for him was amazing and such a privilege.
~Catching up with old friends. We had a BBQ and then cooked smores' on a campfire. It was great reconnecting with them. I missed the long talks that we used to have and this was just what was needed to reconnect. The girls had a great time playing with their friends and actually both fell asleep pretty quickly too!!

~Having lunch with my grandmother and my girls. They love her so much and it is just great to see. I think that she is pretty special also ;-)

~Finishing our 1 Peter study. It was a great study and am blessed to have the leader that we have. A great leader and a great friend!!

~Getting Alyssa's homeschool curriculum for next year. I wasn't sure if I was going to like homeschooling but I do and so does Alyssa!
~Extra snuggles from Tori this week. When she embraces my face and very gently rubs my cheeks and says "mommy mommy mommy" with a huge smile on her face....I love those moments!!!

Week 13...Here I come!

This is going to be a short and to the point blog. There is too much going on right now to be able to really sit down, concentrate and type. So directly to the drum roll.....I lost another 3lbs so that brings my total to 29lb!! Yay...I am nearing my goal and I am getting excited. I am still continuing with the Wii Fit and I had to take a couple of days off from Jazzercise because I think that I had been pushing too much and pulled a muscle in my foot. BUT this morning I was back into my routine so hopefully I continue to my goal nice and strong and keep this healthy eating habit! Oh and I did have a cookie on Saturday...nice gooey one it was amazing!! See I still have my treats but make sure that I don't overindulge. Til next weigh in!

Sensational Six

~ A wonderful Mother's day spent with family. It was absolutely wonderful!
~ My birthday, surrounded by the ones that love me. I got the Wii Fit for my birthday and mother's day...I LOVE IT!!
~ Butterfly and Eskimo kiss from Tori...she has decided that she wants them before she goes to bed now and I have no problems making that come true.
~My health
~My amazing husband who loves me
~My wonderful girls that take such good care off their momma. Our family had a really rough and scary day on Friday and they hearts were amazing. They were great for me and gave snuggles just at the right moments through out the whole day to everyone in the family. I am soooooo blessed.

Week 12...really? Wow!!

I have to say that the time for me has been flying by!! Today is my birthday!!! Yay for me. I turned 30 today and I really am ok with that. I am feeling better then I have in a really long time. For my birthday and Mother's Day, Ryan and the girls bought me Cranium, Uno Attack and a Wii Fit!! Yay!!! Last night We all played Uno Attack and laughed. Alyssa really loves that game...can you guess who picked that one out?! This morning when I woke up, I was excited to use the Wii Fit. I am trying to figure out what I am going to do with that...do I do the Balance one day, Aerobics one day, Yoga another and then Strength another...not really sure...or should I do 2 from every classification...not really sure...today I did 18 minutes of Balance Training and then ran upstairs to do my Jazzercise when that came on. I guess that I will try to one each day and then maybe next week try a little from each and decided which one I like better...who knows! I did get out to walk once last week on a local college track but only one day because of lack of cooperation of the weather. I am hoping that maybe I can get there a little more this week...hoping...especially the weekend! So when I weighed myself today...chalk up another 2 lbs!! So 26lbs yay!! And that was with a little cheating on Friday and then yesterday on Mother's Day. Tonight we are going out for my birthday and I have already done my research of what I should get...and then we have another celebration on Sunday so that will be another test to my will power...so far so good...but still sometimes hard but I have to say the motivation of staying on course and keeping the weight off is working wonders. And I really like that I am setting a good example for my family. Oh and I finally got a food scale so that I can be a little more accurate in my measuring...phew! Well that is what I have to report for this week.

Til next weigh in!

Sensational Six!

Another week filled with many many blessings!!! So here I go!

~another week home with my family. Absolutely wonderful!!
~a game night with some new friends. It was loads of fun getting to know them better...lots and lots of laughing...made my belly hurt!
~being out in the sun today. It was so gorgeous. Watching my nephew's baseball game and watching the girls run around with my other nephews. Definitely put a smile on my face!
~getting out and walking today (it has been a rainy week). It felt great. The sun beating down but just enough breeze to keep the bugs away and the sun from getting too hot.
~two amazing homeschooling days with Alyssa. She is doing so well and I am just impressed by her everyday.
~Cuddling with Tori today. It was almost like she couldn't get close enough and then she would rap her arms around mine or take my arms to make them squeeze her tighter. I didn't want to move and I soaked up every minute.

Til next week!

Here we come week 11!!!

So yay, a week home and back into my routine!! Wahoo!! Jazzercise is still working well for me. I have stopped using my bean because it broke...ugh...popped a whole in it. I will have to see if I can patch it but what are you going to do. I have to admit...the Jazzercise is kicking my butt some...I can deal with the cardio and stretch exercises...definitely feeling my heart rate go up and I am sore during the day some from that. Like right now my legs & butt are feeling it from doing the different squatting exercises but it is a great feeling. A feeling that I have missed since basketball. But the strength exercises...WOW! I am using 6lbs weight which to me sounds like nothing but man my arms are shaking to get the last rep in. They definitely push you and that is what I need. Because even though you may be working your triceps and biceps at the same time you are working you lower body because they are having you do something else at the same time which then works your abs because of the balancing fun. I really figured that it would be way to corny since is was on the cable channel but it really isn't that bad. I am feeling better and I am slowly not getting so winded...I love that feeling. Still trying to work on getting outside more...for walks but without sidewalks...it isn't that easy. I tried to walk the camp road that is just down the road but it was full of bugs and not any fun really at all and then I see a dog come running towards me...thankfully I think that he was a friendly dog but I didn't want to take any chances and I yelled at him to get back home...which he stopped and turned around...I have to say...I was looking around to what huge stick I could pick up if needed. And the girls weren't with me so that was a blessing also. So I think that we will have to drive somewhere...and hopefully I will find a place that will allow the girls to have fun at the same time that mommy is working it! So I popped on the scale this morning and very happy to report that I lost another 3 lbs!! 24lbs altogether...w00t!! Here is the scary part for me tho...my birthday is coming up next week...and I am praying that I have the will power to be good...I may have to make my own cake but that is ok by me...and I have to admit...I want to celebrate some!! But I am figuring out what I can do so that I can have fun also...zig zaging calories would be one thing, and also making the best food choices so that I can have a little wiggle room...oh and I have to go clothes shopping!! Because even now, my "skinny" jeans which I thought that I would never get back into (and were actually in a box on their way to Goodwill) well they may have to go back into the box because instead of being too small...they are getting too big!! And my shirts...well they are getting even a little too baggy for me...this feels so great!!

Sensational Six

I have so many things to be grateful this week!!! It is definitely hard to choose and one of these moments you may laugh at and think, "She is happy about this?" So here it goes.....

~structure and routine...I am so happy to be back home doing our usual routine. I am not at the hospital with my uncle where there was so much unknown that is was driving me nuts!! I am back home with my hubby and my girls....love it!

~Watching my nephews run upstairs because they were so concerned about Tori. She started to cry (she was playing them...she was suppose to be sleeping) and within an instant they were up trying to comfort her. It's okay Tori, you don't have to be scared, we are right here...and she was eating it up! Then tucking them in was pretty special also!

~Cuddling with my girls for the Soul...who needs Chicken Soup!! Hugs, kisses, snuggles and loves from the girls does wonders for my soul! It reminds me of how blessed I am with these wonderful gifts from God.

~Watching my grandmother and Alyssa walk around the yard hand and hand looking at the different flowers at my parent's house. A memory that I hope that Alyssa always remember.

~Reconnecting with my hubby...not that we were far apart but it was really nice to just sit and cuddle ourselves and talk WITHOUT interruptions!! He is an amazing provider for our family and amazing Christian man, husband, father, and friend!

~Girls night out!! IT WAS A BLAST! Applebee's and then to the movies...Ghosts of Girlfriend's past...a complete chick flick and completely enjoyable!!

Til next time!

Beginning of week 10

So I wasn't really excited to step on the scale this morning. Last week was a really rough week. I knew that I stayed in my calorie limit but at the same time I wasn't drinking enough water, my exercise was only like 3 out of the 7 days...I was sitting a lot in the hospital which is not really like me at home. There were two days that I actually got out and walked for over 3 miles but that really didn't help compensate the others days of a little exercise to none...and my food choices were not to great...like I said...stayed in my calorie limit but not the best choices to stay in the limit. Plus the stress of last week I figure had taken it's toll and added weight. Soooooo, when I stepped on the scale I was happy to see that I didn't gain but disappointed to see that I didn't lose either. Like I said, it shouldn't surprise me but what are you going to do right? You would think that I would be excited to have lost 21lbs to this point. Well my plan is to get back on my exercise routine and also make sure that I am drinking enough water. I pray that I will not be back to the hospital with my uncle but if that is where God wants me then I will be there. Hopefully the nice weather continues and I can get outside to walk...wish I had sidewalks though and it seems a little silly to drive to sidewalks but maybe that is what I need to do. So til next week and hopefully better news to report.

Sensational Six

~my own bed...so very comfortable.
~my friends who watch and take care of the girls like their own. Knowing that they were with them made it less hard to be away from them and to be there for my uncle
~feeling appreciated, being there for my family when they needed me the most
~the love from my family and friends. Something that is so important to me and I should be and am thanking God for this blessing every day
~being home
~my loving hubby who is my rock.

Scale Time Scale Time

Sorry about that...just a little carry over from the girls. When it is bath time...that is what is sung...bath time bath time and then the girls sing it and usually do a little dance. Don't worry I didn't dance. So let me catch up with what I have been doing for exercise or lack of or whatever. I am trying to exercise everyday...although sometimes my exercise consists of nothing more then going up and down the stairs about a hundred times and the typical house cleaning that needs to be done. But on Monday through Friday I am trying to do my bean and Jazzercise. Jazzercise is actually a lot of fun and it is definitely increase my heart rate. There is a show on the cable station in the morning before the girls wake up and still gives me some time to get a shower in before we start out homeschooling routine. The show is only 30 minutes and it incorporates cardio, strength (yup that's right...weights) and stretch (which I need a little help on to try to get a little more flexible...my muscles are a little too tight...not toned just tight and they need to stretch out BUT I am working on the toned part). So on Saturday and Sunday I do take a little break...I do my bean and maybe some boxing but so try to get out and play outside now that the weather is cooperating. So enough of my blabbering on, time for the scale. This week I lost another 2lbs!!! Yay!!! I am up to 21lbs!!! Yahooooooo! And I had chocolate also!!! I haven't not been forbidding myself some treats but I do make sure that I count those calories and don't overindulge. Talk you next week!

Favorite Five Moments

Short and sweet....

~the amazing talk that I had with Alyssa that was sparked by Easter and the next day bible lesson about Calvary...I was trying not to get too emotional. It was such a God moment!!
~ A new spring haircut (and the girls too!)
~ A new friendship that is growing...I feel so blessed that God has brought her into my life.
~ Catching up with an old college friend. She is playing volleyball on Thursday nights and I may have to make it a ritual to go watch her. I get to see her and the girls love watching the game.
~ My uncle coming home from the hospital!!

Sorry so to the point but I have to go make more memories!!

Sorry to add...but I do have to make a # 6....knowing that you can talk to your BFF about ANYTHING even things that could make a situation tense....and it make your relationship closer which is something that I didn't think was possible! Thank you God for bringing us together.

Since I am doing this on Saturdays now...maybe I should call it Spectacular Six on Saturdays!!

Hitting two with one!

Ok so last week was rather interesting and scary at the same time. Because I didn't get a chance to blog I thought that with this post I would catch up for my two regular posts that I usually do. So here it goes...my top five moments!

~seeing my uncle smile and laugh. I thought that I was going to lose my uncle this week from a serious bacterial infection. But God had other plans and I am grateful for that.
~spending time with family and extended family. My aunt and uncle, even though it was in a hospital it was a blessing to be able to be there for them and to be able to just sit and talk. My great aunt and great uncle came down for Easter and visiting with them was wonderful. Also seeing them interact with the girls just brought tears to my eyes. My mom and dad and although I may see them often, I cherish every moment. My girls who are my gifts from God.
~my BFF who is always here for me through everything...even the bad times when I am crying, scared. She was willing to take my children in when she was busy herself and treat them just like they were her own. Also taking time to help celebrate Ryan's birthday even though again with her busy schedule. She is amazing and a true testament of showing Christ's love.
~Being there for one of my friend's delivery. I have been there for all of her children's births and I love seeing the miracle over and over and over again.
~ My hubby had his 29th birthday last Thursday. He is an amazing Christian man, husband, father and friend. He is there for me in every capacity. He is strong when I can barely stand on my own. He makes me laugh when I don't think that I can. I thank God for blessing me with this man.

So post Number 2! Weigh in!!!

I am happy to report that I lost 4 pounds this past week bringing me to a grand total of 19 pounds!! So I may play a game of no weight loss one week and then some the next week but as long as there is weight loss then I am happy. I am getting a little more daring with my menu and trying new recipes. I have found really yummy recipes that stay in my calorie range. It is really great. So I am thinking that this lifestyle change is starting to really stick and healthy eating is a high priority.

So that catches me up. Hopefully I will do better next week. Til then!

End of week 6, Beginning of week 7

Well I really don't have a lot to say today. Today has been a rough day and it really has nothing to do with weight...just other things that are going on in life right now. So I am discouraged because the scale this morning was the same as last week...ugh. But the positive side is that I didn't gain. See you next week.

Fab Five

So I am a little late this week but definitely worth the extra day to wait. I have to say though that I am thinking that I should changed the Fab Five moments of the week to Saturdays. In my mind Saturdays are the end of the week and in this household so much happens in on Friday and Saturday nights. So I have to be very honest, this week was a very rough week. But I have to remember that God is in control and even though I don't understand, it doesn't matter he does. What I do understand is that my faith does help me get through these times and I am so thankful for that.

So here are my top 5 moments of the week:

~seeing five deer in my backyard...the girls and I just stood there watching them for about 10 minutes. It was the quietest that the girls have ever been while awake! So we had a great teaching moment to learn about deer.
~listening to Alyssa just start praying without any prompting from Ryan or I. The local Christian radio station was having a pledge drive and they asked for prayers. Well Alyssa heard this and just started to pray. It melted my heart.
~ My family...I got to spend a lot of time with my parents this week and it was just great. They are such blessings in my life and I don't want to take any of this time that I have with them for granted.
~Watching Toy Story 2, with Tori and Ryan. We popped some popcorn and went to our bedroom and cuddled while watching Buzz save Woody from the Chicken Man. It was great to just have all of our attention to be focused on just Tori...a special time just between the three of us. (Alyssa was having a sleepover at Mimi's and Bampy's)
~ Taking Alyssa to Red Robin. It was Tori's turn to spend time some special time with Mimi and Bampy. So Alyssa, Ryan and I went out to eat. This time we could concentrate just on Alyssa and she had a blast. She was all smiles to have her Mommy and her Daddy just to herself...but then she did look at me and say, "I do miss Tori"

See you next Saturday!

Homeschooling Mental Health Day

I know you are thinking...what two posts in one day!!! Yup I had to write about today's homeschooling. Well I thought that today would be a good day for a Mental Health Day, a break per say from our usually homeschooling time and it wasn't even my idea. Those of you that know me that I am a in the box type of person so anything that is out of the box is a stretch. Some may say...that was not out of the box but for me it was. Today I let Alyssa sleep in until around 8:30 (she has been waking up at 7:30 so that we have some alone time to do her schoolwork before her sister wakes up). I was thinking that she needed a Mental Health Day...she needed some time off...we really didn't take a Feb break, we are ahead so why not? So then we went into my room and had some cuddle time. It was great!! We snuggled and talked. Then she asked if she could play on the computer...sure why not. So I got the laptop out and got her logged on. We went to Playhouse Disney and she played...but I have to tell you....she didn't just play, she was picking "game" that challenged her, like rhyming words, math and reading. It was great!! Tori woke up and we all cuddled into bed, and Alyssa continued to "play" on the laptop and teach Tori things at the same time. I just watched this unfold. It was amazing. I decided that I would go jump into the shower while things we in a happy place. The girls had eaten and I had exercised so it was all good at that point. I was getting dressed when I saw Alyssa's face concentrating very hard...I asked her what she was doing...she had an excel worksheet up with a bunch of numbers on it 87, 54, 27, etc...I asked what she was doing and she said "practicing my number" and then proceeded to tell me what each of them were without any problem. Again, I am amazed. There she is working on her numbers, already worked on math and rhyming. Then she asked could she IM her daddy...sure why not? So we started a chat with Ryan. She was reading what he was actually typing!! Usually she would just make it up and then pound on the keyboard...she was actually sounding things out and trying to respond also. She would type gibberish for a little bit and then asked if I could help her spell things. So we sat there and sounded out what she wanted to type and she did really well...I was so impressed. So today we didn't sit down and do our workbooks but we definitely did learn today...so I am thinking that well maybe this day does count...not my typical in the box way but maybe an out of the box way and I love that she initiated it!

End of Week 5, Beginning of Week 6!

So last week was a little discourage to only loose one pound...but seriously I still lost so I should be excited!! Anyways I looked at what I had been doing differently in the previous weeks and I really couldn't figure it out and then BAM!! I was watching Biggest Loser and Jillian came on to do the tip of the week type deal...she was talking about making sure that you drink plenty of water to keep your metabolism working...I was like THAT COULD BE IT!!! I really had slowed down on my water intake and then you add the exercise in...I wasn't replenishing my body. So I changed that habit and starting drinking more water...what I should have been doing all along and even before I started this eating habits change...like I said in previous blog I want this to be a lifestyle change...not just a diet. So I am eating healthier but I don't forbid myself from treating myself either. I stay in my calorie limit and it seems to be working well for me. I am still continuing with my Bean and this past weekend I started to add Boxing on the Wii into the mix just to change things up. You wouldn't believe it but arms are really sore from boxing!! I go directly from my Bean to boxing to try to keep my heart rate up. My arms are sore from my wrists to the back of my shoulder blades. I went for a walk this past Saturday and I really enjoyed that (well pushing an extra 75lbs in a stroller was a little rough...hehehehe). I was hoping to be able to put that into my routine but then of course it has rained the past two days. I am going to be honest...I don't do rain very well...I would rather stay inside. I will stop my rambling now....ok when I weighed myself this morning I was not expecting results really...I know that you usually slow down and then go back up (something like you build lean body muscle at a point and then start loosing again...not really sure the specifics) Anyways...my results was....3 lbs...I lost 3 more lbs!!! I was so excited!! And because I was a curious and a gluten for punishment I had to try on pants that I still have that I used to wear before my second child was born...THEY BUTTONED!!! Before I couldn't even get them past my thighs!! Anyways I still have some more work to do before I will wear them in public...they are a little too tight for my liking and I think that they make my love handles stick out more then I would like to see...but I was still excited because now I am finally seeing results!! So I am doing a little happy dance right now!!!

Top Five Moments of the week!

So another week has gone by and to numerous blessing to keep track. I go through the week and think oh this would be a good one for Friday's blog....oh there is another one....I really should write them down because then I get to Friday and I can't figure out what one to choose. So here we go:

5) Looking in the mirror and not going Ugh!
4) Catching up with Rob and Katie this week. It was great to see them and it has been wwwaaaaayyyyyy to long!! Watching this family become closer to God is absolutely amazing. We knew them before they became Christians and the changes in them is breathing taking.
3) Having Ryan come home and look at the house and say "wow, you were working really hard today." Not that he doesn't appreciate all that I do but it was really nice to hear!
2) Having my beautiful blue eyed girl look at me and ask for a date of just us even when just probably 30 minutes before I was giving her a time out and believe me she wasn't very happy with me at all...just shows me that even when I discipline she knows that I love her and that she loves me and that disciplining does show true love.
1) Having my beautiful baby girl look like she hasn't seen me in hours even though it has only been minutes...and be so excited and run to give me a hug...those brown eyes are amazing!

Well those are my top five. I hope that you enjoy and see you next Friday!!

End of week 4 Start of Week 5

Today is confession time...I cheated twice this week....sort of. I had ice cream twice this week and although I still stayed under my calories I still feel like I cheated...hehehehe...it was really good!!! Gifford's was having free ice cream night on Friday and I had No fat/No sugar added Black Raspberry....mmmmm. Then on Saturday I shared some Blue Bunny Reduced Fat/No sugar added Banana split....oh so good!!
So this past week, my loosing weight has slowed down some. Don't know if it was because of the ice cream or what. The funny thing is that I have started to exercise a little bit more so that kind of makes me laugh that I am exercising more but my weight loss is slowing. Oh well...still loosing so I need to think positively. I was listening to 93.9 Air One and some of the tips were 1) portion control (done that) 2) Exercise (starting that) 3) Start lifting weights (I am ordering something through my mom that may help with that) 4) Laugh often (you can always have a little more of that) and there was a number 5 BUT I can't remember....ooops!! I am wondering if I should start doing the ABC exercise...a link from a Homeschooling Lounge showed me it. It was kind of funny to watch but I totally can see how it could work...and that would slowly work in more weights.
So I know that everyone is waiting to hear...my total weight loss for 4 weeks is 12 lbs!! I am pretty happy with myself right now. I don't think that it is too bad for someone who has never dieted before. I am still working on my Bean...probably should get another exercise routine in there...there are two that I do on it but should probably at another. My plan is to start looking in Uncle Henry's and Craig's list to see if I can find a treadmill or elliptical. I would really like an elliptical but I really need to think about my price range before I start to be choosy. See you all next week with hopefully more good news to report!

Top Five of this Week

So this week has been full of ups and downs but doing this every Friday is definitely helping me see all the wonderful blessings that God has given me through the week.

5) Watching Sisterly Love: listening to the girls laugh and giggle during their bubble bath. I can't explain how much it makes me smile hearing those giggles...Watching them snuggle and cuddle on the couch....Victoria telling Alyssa..."I love you Lyssa"....it was too cute and then Alyssa's reaction was priceless..."Momma!!! Did you hear Tori?!!! She loves me!!! Awwww Tori I love you too"
4) My health!!
3) Finishing my book....12 Extraordinary Women by John MacArthur....a great read!!
2) Spending time with mom and dad at their bible study. It was great to be in the Word of God with them.
1) Watching Alyssa and Victoria spending time with their GiGi (great grandmother). They love her so much and the just love her company. I know that Gram just eats that time up and I am so proud of my girls with how they treat her...with so much care and affection.

End of week 3, beginning of week 4

So another week. I am not to sure about the accuracy of this way in. Since I was sick and probably got dehydrated (even though I tried to drink plenty of fluids), I am thinking that my weigh in was a little off but we will see next week. So according to the scale I have lost 11lbs. It is hard because I want to be excited but I know that it may not be accurate. So I have to admit anyways that I am still pretty discourage. There are certain places that I think I see a difference and I know that I should be doing this for myself but I just don't think that the change is noticeable. Kind of saddening. I would like to say that I have lots more energy but not really sure. I am waking up about 1 hr & 1/2 earlier and actually OK with it which anyone that knows me...I am ssssssoooooooo not a morning person. I still enjoy my quiet time (although I am really not sleeping every time and actually doing more things during that time).
I really need to get out and start walking or try to get on my parent's treadmill (which I still think that it should be mine because they only use it for a clothes hanger). I have started up back on The Bean again to see if I can get my midsection and muscles tone up. Who knows..I hope that it works. I think that I need to hit the rail trail. Sorry not upbeat but that is where I am right now...and it has nothing to do with eating the correct calories...just I have no patience for results.

Top Five of Week

So I have to admit the beginning of the week was much better than the end but that is what happens when you are sick. Thursday and Friday I was pretty much out of comission but thanks to my loving family and friends there are so many things that I have to be grateful for. They showed me God's love through all of their actions!! This is why I feel that I need to do the Top Five of the Week....even when you are under the weather and feel completely aweful there is still so many things to be thanking God for.

5) Having Alyssa go through the week with almost all of her smiley faces for her behavior chart. I am talking that she got 54 out of 56 smiley faces. A complete change in her attitude!!!
4) Having great friends that are willing to stop their busy lives just to help me out...I am so blessed by their friendships.
3) Having my 2 y.o. so excited to see me even though it had only been three hours. "My momma"...her smile just melts my heart.
2) Being tucked in by Alyssa. Heated up the rice sock, brought in one of her blankets for me and rubbed my back saying, "I am going to pray for you tonight momma, so that you will feel better."
1) So grateful for my husband's job and him beable to stay home so that I could sleep. He is a complete blessing and listening to him play with the girls just made a momma's heart so happy.

So even through my sickness God showed me my many blessings.

End of week 2, beginning of week 3

100+30+198+.....yup that is my life right now and I am actually not complaining about it. There has been a change that I reeeeaaallllly like and I am hoping that this is going to stick as a life change and not just a diet. I have officially lost 7lbs in two weeks and I am really excited. Right now I have done this all with just counting calories and no exercise...well besides the exercise that I get running after Alyssa and Victoria :-) I am hoping that I will be getting some exercise soon especially when the snow starts to melt away...here's to keeping my fingers crossed on that one. If anyone has an idea of how to get more exercise without exposing my girls to childcare of a complete stranger please let me know. Still trying to convince my parents to let me have their treadmill instead of it being a clothes rack.
The great thing that has really helped this week is that Ryan has started to count calories with me also. It is a little hard because he gets to have 600 more calories a day but at least I feel like I have another person supporting me and also it helps to have that person in the same house!
So that's the news for this week's check in...see you next week!

Counting Sheep

Ryan, Alyssa, Victoria and I were all driving in the van listening to the radio. The song To Bring you Back by Paul Alan came on and Ryan really likes this so he turned it up...all of a sudden Alyssa pipes in "Momma! I guess that you don't sleep in heaven. I question her and asked "why do you say that baby" She answered because "you count sheep"

Below are the lyrics and part of the song does say sorry I couldn't sleep I was counting sheep...it made me giggle pretty good and she thought that is was pretty funny herself. It opened a great opportunity to discuss how we are all God's sheep and that he will always be looking out for us to show us how much he loves us even just one of us.

Thought that you might get a giggle out this one also.

To Bring You Back by Paul Alan

Are you thirsty, standing in the rain?
Not sure where you are or how you lost your way
Are you drowning
Some bar outside of town?
Searching for something given not found
A crowd of people totally alone
At the front door
Worlds away from home
And light up the night's last regret
Burn your only safety net
Step to the edge it's such a long way down

And I left the ninety-nine to find the one and you're the one
I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun
Only to bring you back

Are you tired of chasing the wind?
Under water, do you aspire to breathe again?
Are you dying?
Is that the best that you can do?
Cause you can't find your place in a world that wasn't meant for you.

I left the ninety-nine to find the one
And you're the one
I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun
Only to bring you back

Hello, it's me i couldn't sleep
I was just counting sheep.
I'm missing you.

Hello, it's me i couldn't sleep
I was just counting sheep.
I left the ninety-nine to find the one
And you're the one
I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun
Only to bring you back.

I left the ninety-nine to find the one
And you're the one
I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun
Only to bring you back
Only to bring you back

Top Five Moments of the week

5. Reconnecting with some college friends.
4. Being told that I was missed.
3. Listening to Tori pray at small group...it was too cute!
2. Playing a FB game with the girls...Mommy according to Alyssa and Victoria. It was lots of fun and made me laugh.
1. Watching Alyssa at choir practice singing praise to the Lord and turning and looking at Tori doing the same thing...made tears come to my eyes.

See you next week!

Then end of week 1, beginning of week 2

So yesterday was officially the end of week 1 of my diet. I am doing a little better at counting and starting to get a grove of making sure that I have snack also. I know that sounds horrible but if I don't have snacks then I wouldn't be able to stay on this diet. Plus I realized after a "little spell" on Thursday that if I don't then my blood sugar will drop and then so will I...well almost....got really dizzy, clammy, headache, irritable, and you got it, sweaty with the pit stains to prove it. Good thing I was wearing what I was wearing and nobody could tell, but I knew. The most embarrassing part was that this happened in front of the youth group. Don't think that many noticed, only a couple of adults and one was my BFF so it was all good even if I snapped a little...maybe a lot...remember I said irritable. So since then I try to make sure that I have a little something with me in my purse at all times.
So yesterday I was the hardest I have to admit. I even went to Applebee's on Friday and Panera on Saturday, did my research before I left and stayed within my calories. BUT yesterday...ugh. I went to a baby shower and my mom did a lot of the food prep work and I wanted to have everything. There were finger rolls, chips and dip, salsa and Tortitos Hint of Lime (YUM!!), cheese and crackers, pizza, subway sub, and fruit. It was soooooo hard because I love finger food. I think that is the best and of course I eat way too much because I always go back for more. Then of course there was cake and my grandmother's homemade brownies!!! But I was very proud of myself and behaved. I behaved so well that last night I had enough calories left over to have a York's peppermint patty...the king size one...one of those is 140 calories...the funny thing is that I ate half and then my brain was saying, ok that is enough sugar...too much....so then Victoria and Alyssa ate the other half. I still counted the full 140 because I am anal. I just want to make sure that I don't go over my calories so I am usually adding in to make it higher because I don't want to make a mistake even though I am sssssooooo careful and look up everything...remember I said anal :-)
So that has been week 1, will talk to you next week about week 2....

Top Five Moments of the week

5) Having dinner with new friends. Something that I am not very good at. I am a little bit of an introvert when it comes to meeting new people but Ryan helps balance that. It was a lot of fun and I am glad that my extrovert husband is rubbing off on me.
4) Having a two hours conversation with Ryan without being interrupted by little voices or by him snoring :-)
3) Being covered in cotton candy with my BFF. It was a little annoying at first because the cotton candy machine was having issues but boy did we end up laughing and having a great time that night!!
2) Victoria hugging me around the neck so tight after I got home from work and saying, "I love you momma"
1) Alyssa saying, "Mommy, I really love our alone time together (we starting waking up an hour and half earlier so that we could have one full hour of just us while doing her school work) and I love that you are my teacher"

Calorie Counting here I come

So today is the first day that I have officially start to watch what I eat. I have started to count calories in order to try to loose some weight. This is going to be a little hard for me for different reasons:
1. I have never dieted before
2. I hate dieting
3. I have started to turn into an emotional eater.

AND I am really hungry right now!!! But this is the time of the day that I struggle the most!!

I know that I couldn't have said it better

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=51952373060&h=fxdxu&u=zANuo

Please go to this link and listen. She is wiser than beyond her years!!!

Victoria the 2y.o. beautician

So fun story...not really. Can't believe that it happened but it did. Tori cut Alyssa's hair!! I was upstairs doing laundry and the scissors were put away but big sister Alyssa thought that it would be a good idea to make a card. Well if you are going to make a card then you have to use scissors to cut things out...right? Well in Alyssa's mind you have to. So somewhere in the middle of making a card, Tori got the scissors and decided that Alyssa needed to have bangs again...short bangs. She had wanted to grow them out but guess that she is going to have to work on it again. The bangs totally make her look ssssoooo young!!! So I didn't even notice until I was playing with her hair tonight and realize that she had a patch of hair missing. When I asked her about it is when she told me the whole story and then also told me that she cleaned it up. So I combed down the rest of her bangs and tried to make them as straight as possible (which I think that I did a pretty good job) but she definitely has vvvveeeeerrrrrryyyyyyy short bangs BUT she is still adorable!!!

Thanks...again!

So things are slowly starting to get back to normal around here. The compassion seems to be coming back for our situation that happened. I still am praying about it and really trying to let God lead even though I am often trying to take the reigns away from him. He knows the reasons why things happen and I need to trust him and his ways....leaning on him every step of the way. Thanks for letting me lean on you all also.

Compassion

I thought that I was a compassion person...I actually thought that maybe that was my spiritual gift. I am not too sure right now. Remember how I previously blogged that Happy New Year 2009 is still up in the the air....well it is definitely still there. Recently, a person has emotionally cut me and my family to the bone, forget the bone...an appendage has been severed. My husband looked at me and said, "I am broken." I have never seen him like this....NEVER! He can usually brush everything off. Although today, he is doing much better after we have gone and sought council from our Pastor. I still am having a hard time getting that statement out of my mind. This person hurt him sooooo much. I know that this person is under some type of an attack herself...darkness is surrounding her constantly and a compassionate person would be able to see that and to show God's mercy and grace. I am struggling with this completely. I should be feeling pity and sadness for her and all I can think of right now is that statement that Ryan said. Although she said some hurtful things towards me, that really isn't bothering me...I know that they aren't based in reality and I know that the comments made about Ryan aren't based in reality...it is just want those comments did to him. In my mind right now, I know that I should be compassionate, I know that I should be praying for her to see the light, I know that I should be feeling pity...my fleshy heart is just not following and there is a struggle that is going on.
So for now I am relying on Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (NIV) Praying for strength to be able to pray for this woman and see her through God's eyes of grace...those same eyes that look at me everyday and who forgives me for everything that I have done against him. Praying for compassion.

44

Today the forty fourth president was sworn into office. I am a little nervous in the direction that this country is going in especially with everyone so convinced that this man is going to "save" us. I am completely convinced that the people of America didn't know who they were really voting for....just seeing it as an opportunity to be a part of history. I don't agree with this man's politics, his morals and his ethics BUT he is the new president of the United States. SOOOOOOOO, President Barak Obama I will be praying for you.

Thanks!!

I just have to say that God works in mysterious ways...like I really had to say that!! This morning I was at a memorial service for a fellow church goer that passed away this year. Now usually at a memorial service is where you find comfort definitely and encouragement that although these times are rough you will make it through....rely on God (totally true statement). This is what gave me encouragement and a definite kick in the bum!! I am not going to go into specifics but the widow wrote an amazing (did I say amazing), absolutely amazing speech to be read. Things at home were very rough for her and her child. Her husband that passed away was going through a major trial in his life and was actually losing the battle to the world in the way that was emotional, physically and mentally affecting both (now) the widow and the child. She was in the process of making steps to protect herself and her child from this hurt when this man passed away. If you would have heard that letter and the love that she had for this man even through all of this, it totally puts things in perspective. She wasn't making excuses for him at all and it wasn't one of those things of that she was being blind, she was seeing everything clearly. Only true love can see past all the wrong. Only true love can actually show tough love. Only true love could have written that letter. This widow showed me what God must see when he looks at all of his children...that true love even with all of the hurt and wrong that I have done. I left this memorial service just in awe and thanking God for what he showed me today. God used a separate situation from my frustration to show me how much in control he really is. Although I may have to show tough love...I need to make sure that I am showing tough love and not anger.

Prayers wanted

I am asking for prayer. I am just getting frustrated. It is not with God just people. At this moment, I feel that things are getting handled incorrectly. Please pray with me for God's strength to handle these situations and different personalities. I believe that I know what God wants me to do and I know that I am going to have to use God's strength, compassion and patience to be able to deal with it all. Thank you and I apologize that the last two blogs have been on the negative side.

Happy New Year...still up in the air.

So I ended 2008 with an "Ugh" and I started 2009 with an "Ugh". Two families from our church had major tragedies happen. I pray that they will feel God's arms wrapped around them carrying them through this difficult time.

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

These tragedies has definitely put things in perspective for me when I am sweating the small stuff (even if I think that it is HUGE...it really isn't). My heart is weeping for these two families and I am also the type of person that just wants to fix things and make people feel better. Not a possibility right now. I am personally confused right now what God has in store for me and my family but I do know (though I might not understand and may even fight it) that God's plan for us is more amazing then I could ever want or think of for my family. I am really trying to relinquish all control to God which is soooo hard for me. God's plan is perfect and I will trust him and look to him for guidance in whatever I do.

It seems like Footprints in the Sand poem is used many times but I really feel that this poem is so true and that we need to trust God with everything we have.