Alyssa, Victoria, Ryan and I were all cuddling in our bed last night...a special treat for Christmas Eve. We were watching a Christmas cartoon...not really sure what it was because we weren't really paying attention too much. Alyssa was talking and Victoria was hugging everyone over and over and over again. Alyssa and I have been talking a lot about that promises are something that you have to keep. So if you promise something you HAVE to do it because you promised. So what I told her is that for now until she can really understand promises she should just say I will try. Last night I think that the synapses in her amazing brain started to connect about promises. She looked at me all excited;
Alyssa: "Momma, I know something that I can promise!!!"
Me: "What baby?"
Alyssa: "I promise that I will never never never stop loving you"
Me (my heart melting): "Oh baby thank you!!"
Alyssa: "Daddy, I promise that I will never never never stop loving you. Tori I promise that I will never never never stop loving you"...then she looked up to the ceiling..."God, I promise that I will never never never stop loving you"
Pull at the heart string much?!! She is such a beautiful little girl...inside and out!!!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
11/10/08
My oldest is turning 5 yrs old!!! Happy Birthday Alyssa...you amaze me every day. She is a blessing that God has given me on loan from him. I know that we are all God's children and I have an important job here on earth to raise her to glorify him. This is a job that I pray to God for help daily...to make sure that I am raising her in his will. I love you my peanut girl!!!
Monday, November 3, 2008
All done....
So Victoria is done breastfeeding which makes me happy and sad at the same time. It has been about a week and half since the last time that she nursed. I look at her now and I remember the first time that we tried to nurse after her birth. She was not very interested and didn't really know how. She just wanted cuddle with her momma and look at her surroundings. I still remember looking into those big eyes of her's. Then my mind goes to the point of her figuring out how to nurse and I would just watch her fall to sleep while she was nursing. She would always have to hang onto my shirt...usually my sleeve. As she got older she would stick her hand up my sleeve and rub my arm the whole time that she was nursing. I remember her learning to sign when she wanted milk to when she could finally say "MEEELLLKK....Momma". So many more memories. Do I miss breastfeeing...yes....do I still get my snuggle time with Victoria...you better believe it. She still climbs into my lap and assumes the position as if she was going to nurse but now it is just to cuddle and giggle. My baby girl, who will always be my baby, is growing up.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Pilot vs. Co-Pliot
So some of you may have seen my facebook posting about is God your pilot or your co-pilot. This is a funny little story that happened to me today that I thought was fitting.
I had a deposit for Ryan to drop off at the bank and since he was going to work and would be in town I figured that it would be easiest for him to drop it off. I didn't really want to get out and go into town with the girls. So when I woke up this morning and saw it on the couch (because I had put it with Ryan's cell phone...clipped to it actually...so that he wouldn't forget)...I saw red. My hands went up in the air and was thinking you have to be kidding me...now I have to go into town because the deposit needs to be in the bank so that I can pay bills. So I fed the girls breakfast, and then we did Alyssa's school work because I didn't want to take her off her schedule. So it is 11:15 and the girls usually have quiet time around 1:00...this is doable I thought. Although still thinking in the back of my mind, I can't believe that I have to do this. I get the girls in their car seats, grab my purse and off we go to town. I get to the end of my road, take a right and seriously...no joke...there is a car broken down not 10ft from the end of my road. AND would you believe it....it was someone from church that I know quite well and a friend of my parents!! This gentleman's car has seized up and died just a couple of minutes before I came to the stop sign. He didn't have his cell phone and would have had to walk a pretty long distance in the cold to get some help ....yes I live in the boonies. I drove him to where he needed to go and he was very grateful.
It wasn't only a great teaching moment for the girls that we help the people we know that are in need (and the only reason why mommy picked somebody up on the side of the road is because we know this person...Alyssa actually recognized him also so that helped explain it also) but for me also. I really felt that God was telling me, "Hello!!! I have great things planned for you and I am going use you for many things if you would just let me lead and stop sweating the small stuff!!"
If Ryan hadn't forgot to take the money I wouldn't have been there to help this gentleman in his time of need. It amazes me how God uses us.
I had a deposit for Ryan to drop off at the bank and since he was going to work and would be in town I figured that it would be easiest for him to drop it off. I didn't really want to get out and go into town with the girls. So when I woke up this morning and saw it on the couch (because I had put it with Ryan's cell phone...clipped to it actually...so that he wouldn't forget)...I saw red. My hands went up in the air and was thinking you have to be kidding me...now I have to go into town because the deposit needs to be in the bank so that I can pay bills. So I fed the girls breakfast, and then we did Alyssa's school work because I didn't want to take her off her schedule. So it is 11:15 and the girls usually have quiet time around 1:00...this is doable I thought. Although still thinking in the back of my mind, I can't believe that I have to do this. I get the girls in their car seats, grab my purse and off we go to town. I get to the end of my road, take a right and seriously...no joke...there is a car broken down not 10ft from the end of my road. AND would you believe it....it was someone from church that I know quite well and a friend of my parents!! This gentleman's car has seized up and died just a couple of minutes before I came to the stop sign. He didn't have his cell phone and would have had to walk a pretty long distance in the cold to get some help ....yes I live in the boonies. I drove him to where he needed to go and he was very grateful.
It wasn't only a great teaching moment for the girls that we help the people we know that are in need (and the only reason why mommy picked somebody up on the side of the road is because we know this person...Alyssa actually recognized him also so that helped explain it also) but for me also. I really felt that God was telling me, "Hello!!! I have great things planned for you and I am going use you for many things if you would just let me lead and stop sweating the small stuff!!"
If Ryan hadn't forgot to take the money I wouldn't have been there to help this gentleman in his time of need. It amazes me how God uses us.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Family Time
Today was starting off as a really blah day. It was raining, wet and dreary day. We were suppose to go with my parents to clean out a storage unit that is full of my Memere's belongings. I didn't really want to go because I really didn't want to have to relive the emotions of her passing all over again. Still now as I write it, the tears are welling up.
I called mom to say hey we are ready. Alyssa had done most of her school work....we had a few more things to do but figured that we could do them later. My mom's and mine communication skills must have been lacking because it turned out that it was little too late to be going to the storage unit. Aunt Nonie and Uncle Charlie were on their way down to us...which is about a 1 hr 1/2 drive...maybe more because they do take the scenic route. Anyways it just wasn't going to work out. So the girls and I walked over to mom's and dad's because when the girls are ready to go...we should be going somewhere and if we don't well...that is not a fun time. So we arrive at my parent's, I pull out the rest of Alyssa's school work, she had two pages in Math to do, one page in Handwriting and one in a phonics activity book. Bampy sat down with her (because Alyssa asked him to) and we flew through her schoolwork because if we got it done that meant we could help Mimi bake a cake. But first we had to make biscuits and corn chowder. So Mimi, Alyssa and Victoria made homemade biscuits...a tradition in the family. While I was working on the corn chowder along with Dad. Then the cake was next...and of course we got to lick the beaters from the mixer!!!
So even though it was a rainy blah day, it turned out to be a wonderful day...a day where four generations (my great aunt Nonie, my great uncle Charlie, my grandmother, my mom, my dad, Alyssa, Victoria and I) got to sit down and enjoy each other's company over a home-cooked meal that everyone had a hand in making. God has blessed me.
I called mom to say hey we are ready. Alyssa had done most of her school work....we had a few more things to do but figured that we could do them later. My mom's and mine communication skills must have been lacking because it turned out that it was little too late to be going to the storage unit. Aunt Nonie and Uncle Charlie were on their way down to us...which is about a 1 hr 1/2 drive...maybe more because they do take the scenic route. Anyways it just wasn't going to work out. So the girls and I walked over to mom's and dad's because when the girls are ready to go...we should be going somewhere and if we don't well...that is not a fun time. So we arrive at my parent's, I pull out the rest of Alyssa's school work, she had two pages in Math to do, one page in Handwriting and one in a phonics activity book. Bampy sat down with her (because Alyssa asked him to) and we flew through her schoolwork because if we got it done that meant we could help Mimi bake a cake. But first we had to make biscuits and corn chowder. So Mimi, Alyssa and Victoria made homemade biscuits...a tradition in the family. While I was working on the corn chowder along with Dad. Then the cake was next...and of course we got to lick the beaters from the mixer!!!
So even though it was a rainy blah day, it turned out to be a wonderful day...a day where four generations (my great aunt Nonie, my great uncle Charlie, my grandmother, my mom, my dad, Alyssa, Victoria and I) got to sit down and enjoy each other's company over a home-cooked meal that everyone had a hand in making. God has blessed me.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Time flies when you are having fun!!!
Well can you believe that is has been over a month again!!! So much for trying harder...I will I hope now that we are more of a routine. So let's catch everyone up again. Alyssa started Pre-K soccer this fall. It way tooooooo cute and fun to watch. She seems to think that she can't turn with at the same time that she is kicking the ball so whatever direction she happens to run at to get the ball is the same direction that she is going to continue to go. She is have lots of fun with it and is usually smiling while she is running after or kicking the ball. I changed my mind again and we are doing some homeschooling this year. I figured that it would be good practice for me and for her to get in the swing of things for next year. I bought some books from Christian Liberty Press and we have started to read the BOB Scholastic Books also. She amazes me daily!!! She is starting to read and add. She can write her numbers, letters (upper case and lower). We has also started to count to 100 with some help from a number chart (1-50 she has memorized)...not really help from me so that means that she is starting to recognize those numbers. We also have a science book, history book and bible stories that we are learning about.
Victoria is starting to count to 20...14-16 is a little rough and iffy but she is trying really hard. She knows almost all of her colors, especially if you don't ask her but that she just points and tells you herself, and she also knows 10 different shapes from the basic circle & square to crescent and octagon. She really enjoys watching Alyssa plays soccer but also wants to get out there and play too. She is growing and growing, actually there are some pre-kers out on the field that I think that she is taller than.
Ryan's job is going well and he is still heavily involved in the Youth Group at church. I am getting more involved in Children's Ministries at church and loving every busy moment of it...plus is just so happens that my BFF (hahaha can you tell that we have been hanging out with the youth group) Janet is the Director of Children's Ministries so it is a grand time all around. Her family and mine have been getting closer and closer as the days go by. I can't explain in words how much of a blessing it is to have a strong Christian family who have the same morals and values right beside your family in this earthly life.
So that catches you up again...til next time.!!
Victoria is starting to count to 20...14-16 is a little rough and iffy but she is trying really hard. She knows almost all of her colors, especially if you don't ask her but that she just points and tells you herself, and she also knows 10 different shapes from the basic circle & square to crescent and octagon. She really enjoys watching Alyssa plays soccer but also wants to get out there and play too. She is growing and growing, actually there are some pre-kers out on the field that I think that she is taller than.
Ryan's job is going well and he is still heavily involved in the Youth Group at church. I am getting more involved in Children's Ministries at church and loving every busy moment of it...plus is just so happens that my BFF (hahaha can you tell that we have been hanging out with the youth group) Janet is the Director of Children's Ministries so it is a grand time all around. Her family and mine have been getting closer and closer as the days go by. I can't explain in words how much of a blessing it is to have a strong Christian family who have the same morals and values right beside your family in this earthly life.
So that catches you up again...til next time.!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Back again
Over a month has gone by again and I haven't blogged. Wow...well since then I helped out with VBS...registration team rocks!!! I had so much fun with Kim (our fearless leader), Jana, Mom and Katrina. Of course Janet was a part of us also...she was the head of all the heads so she was busy and still made time to come over and joke with us. Janet was the fearless leader of all of the fearless leaders. Ryan was the fearless leader of games and security...and boy did the kids have fun with all of the water games. This year's theme for VBS was Power Lab...it was great!!! Alyssa is still listening to the CD over and over and over again. We made it through that week and then a week later we were on vacation...with the Johnsons. We spent a week in Laconia NH (before the rain storms hit...we actually left when the first wave of them were coming in). The last four days that we were there we attended Soulfest 2008...amazing music. There were lots of artists there. I have to say that my favorite performance was the Newsboys. I also heard Phil Joel solo for the first time and I was so completely impressed. I guess I know what CD I will be purchasing in the future. Spending time with the Johnsons was sooooo much fun. It is wonderful to have strong Christian friends that have the same values and beliefs. I forsee a strong family friendship growing!!!
We all then had to come back to reality....Ryan went back to work. But then a big celebration happened. Victoria turned two!!! She is growing up way toooooo fast. She is even counting to 12 now...I would love to take credit with that one but really it was her sister Alyssa that did the teaching on this one. We are starting to work on our colors and shapes now and according to Victoria...everything is blue or orange or a star. We will start letters soon.
Alyssa is amazing me every day. Ryan and I decided that we are going to homeschool the girls and I thought that maybe I would start the kindergarten program with her this year even though she wouldn't really be starting until next year...but changed my mind with some help of fellow homeschooling moms. I am going to concentrate on her reading skills this year. She is doing quite well with all of the sounds that letters make but putting them together to make a word is not quite connecting. It will come...she is smart cookie.
That sort of catches you up with me...I will try to do better about blogging
We all then had to come back to reality....Ryan went back to work. But then a big celebration happened. Victoria turned two!!! She is growing up way toooooo fast. She is even counting to 12 now...I would love to take credit with that one but really it was her sister Alyssa that did the teaching on this one. We are starting to work on our colors and shapes now and according to Victoria...everything is blue or orange or a star. We will start letters soon.
Alyssa is amazing me every day. Ryan and I decided that we are going to homeschool the girls and I thought that maybe I would start the kindergarten program with her this year even though she wouldn't really be starting until next year...but changed my mind with some help of fellow homeschooling moms. I am going to concentrate on her reading skills this year. She is doing quite well with all of the sounds that letters make but putting them together to make a word is not quite connecting. It will come...she is smart cookie.
That sort of catches you up with me...I will try to do better about blogging
Friday, July 11, 2008
Chat Time with Alyssa: Session 8
We were sitting down for lunch the other day. It was Alyssa, Victoria and I plus two teens from youth group, Steve and Craig who came over to help stain the porch. (Thanks soooo much guys for all of your hard work!!!) So I was feeling guilty and talking to myself in my head...I forgot to say a blessing yesterday before we ate lunch and Steven and Craig were over at that time also...what great example I am to them and my girls...pretty much reading myself the riot act all in my head. So I decided that I would just call myself out in front of the girls and the teens...
Me: "Alyssa, let's say grace before we eat. Mommy messed up and forgot to pray yesterday before lunch"
Alyssa: "That's ok momma, God still loves us"
Me: "You are right baby...God still loves us when we make mistakes"
Me: "Alyssa, let's say grace before we eat. Mommy messed up and forgot to pray yesterday before lunch"
Alyssa: "That's ok momma, God still loves us"
Me: "You are right baby...God still loves us when we make mistakes"
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Victoria's Spotlight: Session 2
We were siting at Applebee's waiting for our food. Usually the girls have some crackers to help them wait patiently for their food. Well we also had some cherries this time. The waitress brought over a small dish for each of the girls. Tori saw the cherries started to devour. My mom was sitting in between the girls and she leaned over to Tori:
Mimi: "May Mimi have a cherry?"
Tori nodded yes
About a minute later...Mimi: "May Mimi have a cherry?"
Tori again nodded yes. Tori picked up a cherry....Mimi: "Is that one Mimi's?"
Tori shook her head no
Mimi: "Which one is Mimi's"
Tori looked at Mimi and then pointed to her sister's bowl of cherries!!!
Mimi: "May Mimi have a cherry?"
Tori nodded yes
About a minute later...Mimi: "May Mimi have a cherry?"
Tori again nodded yes. Tori picked up a cherry....Mimi: "Is that one Mimi's?"
Tori shook her head no
Mimi: "Which one is Mimi's"
Tori looked at Mimi and then pointed to her sister's bowl of cherries!!!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Still here!!!!
So I haven't been blogging lately. We have been a very busy family. Our family calender has been quite full. I have the calender color coded for the fam. Ryan blue, Me pink, Alyssa orange, Victoria purple, the whole fam green and just Ryan and I light blue...Anal I know but it works. Anyways in the month of June there were 3 or 4 days that didn't have a color on it and most of the days had the color green which means it is the whole family. Ryan has been playing softball on the church team...(Go Faith II!!!)...there are usually two games a week and when there was only one the next week there was three so it averaged out. Ryan and I have been working on the 4th of July Float for the Winslow Parade...lots of work going into that. Some teens from youth group have been working hard on the float...we are very proud. Ryan also got his Motorcycle License this past weekend...that is a whole story itself. I am also teaching a Lamaze class plus two Super Sitter classes. I really enjoy teaching so it is all good!!
So that is what we have been doing and I don't think that it is going to slow down anytime soon...VBS will be coming soon and then finally vacation. Hopefully it won't take me so long to blog again!!
So that is what we have been doing and I don't think that it is going to slow down anytime soon...VBS will be coming soon and then finally vacation. Hopefully it won't take me so long to blog again!!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Chat Time with Alyssa-Session 7
Alyssa and I were cleaning up after my parents had just come over to visit. They had come over and brought over Strawberry Shortcake (with Aunt Nonie's homemade biscuits, vanilla ice cream, mounds of strawberries and whip cream..mmmm...sorry got off topic). So they had left and we were cleaning up.
Alyssa: Momma, Mimi and Bampy care about you a lot don't they?
Me: Yes they do.
Alyssa: Mimi and Bampy are your mommy and daddy...right?
Me: Yup
Alyssa: Does Mimi and Bampy still disciple you when you disobey?
Me: (oh boy...how am I going to answer this?) Well baby when Momma got married Mimi and Bampy stopped discipling me (sort off...you know Mom you can still give the look). But Mimi and Bampy will never stop loving and taking care of Momma. Just like your daddy and I will always love you and will always want to be there to help take care of you.
Alyssa: Momma, Mimi and Bampy care about you a lot don't they?
Me: Yes they do.
Alyssa: Mimi and Bampy are your mommy and daddy...right?
Me: Yup
Alyssa: Does Mimi and Bampy still disciple you when you disobey?
Me: (oh boy...how am I going to answer this?) Well baby when Momma got married Mimi and Bampy stopped discipling me (sort off...you know Mom you can still give the look). But Mimi and Bampy will never stop loving and taking care of Momma. Just like your daddy and I will always love you and will always want to be there to help take care of you.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Always take time to say Thank You...
Ryan, my dad, Alyssa, Victoria and I got together today for lunch. It has become a little bit of a tradition. The wait staff and managers know us and we have our usual table. Alyssa, Victoria and I were the first ones to arrive and as Roger was showing us to our table we passed a table of 5 military service men and women. I don't know what division these brave men and women were in but they were all dressed in the camo which definitely peaked Alyssa's interest.
Alyssa: "Momma, are those people like Mr Brian?"
Me: "Yes baby, those men and women are very special and brave people that help keep us safe and allow us to be able to do things that aren't allowed in other countries."
Ryan and I have tried very hard to let Alyssa know that the armed forces in our country work very hard to help our country. Which is a little hard for a four year old to understand...or so I thought....
Alyssa: "Momma...we should say thank you to them."
Me: "Alyssa you are right. We should say thank you to them. How about we see if we can buy some dessert for them and say thank you..." (Alyssa loves the triple chocolate meltdown at Applebee's...who wouldn't...)
Alyssa thought that was a great idea. So like I said...we kind of know the wait staff there and we knew the name of their waitress so Ryan got up and went to go talk to their waitress. Their waitress went over to let them know. Unfortunately they were going to be late for a meeting that they had to go to so no dessert for them BUT the captain came over to our table.
Captain: " I just wanted to say thank you for your offer...I am sorry that we have to go and are running short on time"
Me: "It is the least that we can do to say thank you for all that you do"
Alyssa got up and out of her chair and went right up to the Captain and said "Thank you"
The Captain got down to Alyssa's level and said "Thank you and it was very nice to meet you"
Victoria : "Thank you...Thank you...Thank you." (in her not so inside voice and signing at the same time)
The Captain walked back to his table and the whole table waved before they left. Alyssa was so excited and happy because she got to say thank you.
Alyssa: "Momma, are those people like Mr Brian?"
Me: "Yes baby, those men and women are very special and brave people that help keep us safe and allow us to be able to do things that aren't allowed in other countries."
Ryan and I have tried very hard to let Alyssa know that the armed forces in our country work very hard to help our country. Which is a little hard for a four year old to understand...or so I thought....
Alyssa: "Momma...we should say thank you to them."
Me: "Alyssa you are right. We should say thank you to them. How about we see if we can buy some dessert for them and say thank you..." (Alyssa loves the triple chocolate meltdown at Applebee's...who wouldn't...)
Alyssa thought that was a great idea. So like I said...we kind of know the wait staff there and we knew the name of their waitress so Ryan got up and went to go talk to their waitress. Their waitress went over to let them know. Unfortunately they were going to be late for a meeting that they had to go to so no dessert for them BUT the captain came over to our table.
Captain: " I just wanted to say thank you for your offer...I am sorry that we have to go and are running short on time"
Me: "It is the least that we can do to say thank you for all that you do"
Alyssa got up and out of her chair and went right up to the Captain and said "Thank you"
The Captain got down to Alyssa's level and said "Thank you and it was very nice to meet you"
Victoria : "Thank you...Thank you...Thank you." (in her not so inside voice and signing at the same time)
The Captain walked back to his table and the whole table waved before they left. Alyssa was so excited and happy because she got to say thank you.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Chat Time with Alyssa: Session 6
Alyssa and GiGi (Alyssa's great grandmother) were outside playing. They were talking...actually Alyssa was doing most of the talking. They were kicking the ball back and forth when Alyssa stopped and looked at GiGi with a quizicle look.
Alyssa: "GiGi I don't want to grow up."
GiGi: "I remember another little boy that used to say that"
Alyssa just paused and looked at GiGi. Then a big grin came over her face...
Alyssa: "Yeah...my dad"
Alyssa: "GiGi I don't want to grow up."
GiGi: "I remember another little boy that used to say that"
Alyssa just paused and looked at GiGi. Then a big grin came over her face...
Alyssa: "Yeah...my dad"
Monday, April 7, 2008
Victoria's Spotlight: Session 1
It is hard to explain all of the fun stuff that Tori does because you have to be there to get the full picture. She is talking some (a lot really for an almost 20 month old) but not in full conversations like Alyssa. So when the funny things that happen with Victoria...it is hard to explain but I had to give this a chance because it was sooooo cute!!
Picture that Victoria and I are on the floor in a living room (my mom's to be exact). I tell her that it is time to go and that we need to get her ready. So she automatically sits in front of me and says. "Momma...socks!!" (because she was bare foot) So I put her socks on.
Victoria: "Momma...shoes!!!"
Me: "Victoria can you say please to momma"
Victoria: "Pleeese!!!" as she is signing it also
So I put her shoes on.
Me: "Ok Tori...Let's get your jacket"
Victoria: "Jacket...Jacket...Momma...Jacket..." As she is pointing to her jacket that is laying on the back of the couch...with the cat on it.
Victoria gets up and starts over to the couch.
Victoria: "Kitty....Jacket...Excuse you Kitty..."
Victoria: "Excuse you kitty"
Victoria: KITTY EXCUSE YOU!!!"
The cat didn't even lift her head and Tori was about to climb up the couch to remedy the situation. I decided that I would gently move the cat or I am sure that the cat would receive a not so gentle shoved off her coatand off the couch. I pass Victoria her jacket.
Victoria: "Thank you Momma...Thank you!!!"
Picture that Victoria and I are on the floor in a living room (my mom's to be exact). I tell her that it is time to go and that we need to get her ready. So she automatically sits in front of me and says. "Momma...socks!!" (because she was bare foot) So I put her socks on.
Victoria: "Momma...shoes!!!"
Me: "Victoria can you say please to momma"
Victoria: "Pleeese!!!" as she is signing it also
So I put her shoes on.
Me: "Ok Tori...Let's get your jacket"
Victoria: "Jacket...Jacket...Momma...Jacket..." As she is pointing to her jacket that is laying on the back of the couch...with the cat on it.
Victoria gets up and starts over to the couch.
Victoria: "Kitty....Jacket...Excuse you Kitty..."
Victoria: "Excuse you kitty"
Victoria: KITTY EXCUSE YOU!!!"
The cat didn't even lift her head and Tori was about to climb up the couch to remedy the situation. I decided that I would gently move the cat or I am sure that the cat would receive a not so gentle shoved off her coatand off the couch. I pass Victoria her jacket.
Victoria: "Thank you Momma...Thank you!!!"
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Chat Time with Alyssa Session 5
As Alyssa, Victoria, my mom (Mimi) and I were driving to Applebee's in Augusta to meet Ryan and my dad (Bampy) there for lunch, my mom and I were talking as usually and Alyssa would usually put her two cents in. We just starting to go on Cony circle when...
Mom: Your father told me what was going there. (she was pointing to where the hotel and other business used to be on the circle that was recently torn down)
Me: Really...what?
Mom: I don't remember of course...I think that it is going to be a CVS
Alyssa: No No No Mimi it is called VBS...Vacation Bible School
Mom: Your father told me what was going there. (she was pointing to where the hotel and other business used to be on the circle that was recently torn down)
Me: Really...what?
Mom: I don't remember of course...I think that it is going to be a CVS
Alyssa: No No No Mimi it is called VBS...Vacation Bible School
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Victoria's Story
Victoria's turn....it is only fair. I found out that I was pregnant with Victoria the day after my Pepere died. I was suppose to test that day but decided to wait. I know Pepere is looking down from heaven at this very moment and I know that he was with me when Victoria was born because he is in my thoughts always. So I found out that I was pregnant near Christmas. My plan was that I would wrap the pregnancy test up for Ryan and that would be a Christmas present for him but I couldn't wait. I was soooo close too. I ended up telling him the night of the 23rd.
So my normal first trimester of not being able to keep anything down and ended up in the hospital for an over night stay because of dehydration. Fun Fun. Well because Alyssa decided to come early the doctors were keeping a pretty close eye on me. Wouldn't you figure around 21 weeks I was starting to feel cramping but whenever I went to go get checked everything would stop...figures right...but I knew that something wasn't right.
24 weeks the cramping got more intense so I go to get check out again...this time...contractions we showing up on the monitor...NOOOOOO not again!! This is waaaay to early. So the doctors put me on some medication that would hopefully keep the contractions away. This medication had to be taken every 4 hours around the clock. They also decided that it would be a good idea to put me on bedrest until I was 36 weeks gestation. OK so what do I do with a 2 y.o. at home while I am on bedrest. I have to say those were the longest 12 weeks in my life!! Plus the doctor said to stay away from stress. HAHAHA In those 12 weeks I found out that Ryan was going to loose his job because the business that he was working for was going out of business, Ryan's grandfather passed away, a friend in our small group was in a freak accident, and then Ryan's uncle passes away PLUS Ryan's family was in a huge family feud and we were stuck smack dab in the middle. Stay away from stress...interesting...it seemed like it was finding me around every corner. Also in one of the ultrasounds, the doctors found an unknown mass on one of Victoria's kidneys...but even with a 3D ultrasound in Portland they could not determine what it was and we would have to wait until 2 weeks after she was born to find out what is was. Stay away from stress...HAHAHA.
With all of this going on I had great support from my family and friends. Ryan was being strong, Alyssa was being wonderfully good and didn't mind me not being able to run around with her...we spent a lot of time coloring on the floor. My mom and dad were helping with the laundry and helping with food. My grandmother would come over and play with Alyssa outside so that she would be able to run. My mother-in-law and I were splitting the cost of having a woman from church come clean my house every other week. My small group decided that it would be a good idea for the small group to continue to meet at our house, that way I could attend. Everyone was amazing.
So the Monday before Victoria was born I went into the hospital because there we signs that my blood pressure was starting to go up. I had pitting edema, headaches, blurred vision and flu like symptoms...so again I was checked out and my blood pressure was a little high for me but it wasn't in the danger zone for pregnancy. So back home I went.
Tuesday night Ryan decided that he was going to have a cookout with Alyssa and also tent out in the backyard. Well Victoria had other plans. Ryan had the tent all set up and they had just finished eating supper out on the campfire. Ryan's brother Travis had come over for a few minutes and my water broke. I was 36 weeks and 6 days. Almost 37 weeks. Praise the Lord. I was staying in Augusta and no Portland trip for me.
Victoria Rose Redman was born Wednesday August 9, 2006 at 4:00am. She was 8 lbs 10oz and 20 1/2 inches long. She was and still is gorgeous. This time I was in my hospital, in my comfort zone and with the doctor that I trusted the most.
We had to stay a couple of extra day because Victoria decided to spike her bilirubin level but she did great. 2 weeks after she was born we had that ultrasound to find out what the unknown mass. It was gone!!!! 3 months after Victoria was born Ryan lost his job but gained one all at the same time. There was a decrease in pay but I picked up some hours at work plus started to teach Childbirth Education. Ryan and I didn't see each other that much because I worked when he got home so that one of us would be home with the girls.
So where are we now...Ryan has gotten some raises and he is almost making was he was making before...I cut back on my hours again...the girls are wonderful...the Lord is good!!!
So my normal first trimester of not being able to keep anything down and ended up in the hospital for an over night stay because of dehydration. Fun Fun. Well because Alyssa decided to come early the doctors were keeping a pretty close eye on me. Wouldn't you figure around 21 weeks I was starting to feel cramping but whenever I went to go get checked everything would stop...figures right...but I knew that something wasn't right.
24 weeks the cramping got more intense so I go to get check out again...this time...contractions we showing up on the monitor...NOOOOOO not again!! This is waaaay to early. So the doctors put me on some medication that would hopefully keep the contractions away. This medication had to be taken every 4 hours around the clock. They also decided that it would be a good idea to put me on bedrest until I was 36 weeks gestation. OK so what do I do with a 2 y.o. at home while I am on bedrest. I have to say those were the longest 12 weeks in my life!! Plus the doctor said to stay away from stress. HAHAHA In those 12 weeks I found out that Ryan was going to loose his job because the business that he was working for was going out of business, Ryan's grandfather passed away, a friend in our small group was in a freak accident, and then Ryan's uncle passes away PLUS Ryan's family was in a huge family feud and we were stuck smack dab in the middle. Stay away from stress...interesting...it seemed like it was finding me around every corner. Also in one of the ultrasounds, the doctors found an unknown mass on one of Victoria's kidneys...but even with a 3D ultrasound in Portland they could not determine what it was and we would have to wait until 2 weeks after she was born to find out what is was. Stay away from stress...HAHAHA.
With all of this going on I had great support from my family and friends. Ryan was being strong, Alyssa was being wonderfully good and didn't mind me not being able to run around with her...we spent a lot of time coloring on the floor. My mom and dad were helping with the laundry and helping with food. My grandmother would come over and play with Alyssa outside so that she would be able to run. My mother-in-law and I were splitting the cost of having a woman from church come clean my house every other week. My small group decided that it would be a good idea for the small group to continue to meet at our house, that way I could attend. Everyone was amazing.
So the Monday before Victoria was born I went into the hospital because there we signs that my blood pressure was starting to go up. I had pitting edema, headaches, blurred vision and flu like symptoms...so again I was checked out and my blood pressure was a little high for me but it wasn't in the danger zone for pregnancy. So back home I went.
Tuesday night Ryan decided that he was going to have a cookout with Alyssa and also tent out in the backyard. Well Victoria had other plans. Ryan had the tent all set up and they had just finished eating supper out on the campfire. Ryan's brother Travis had come over for a few minutes and my water broke. I was 36 weeks and 6 days. Almost 37 weeks. Praise the Lord. I was staying in Augusta and no Portland trip for me.
Victoria Rose Redman was born Wednesday August 9, 2006 at 4:00am. She was 8 lbs 10oz and 20 1/2 inches long. She was and still is gorgeous. This time I was in my hospital, in my comfort zone and with the doctor that I trusted the most.
We had to stay a couple of extra day because Victoria decided to spike her bilirubin level but she did great. 2 weeks after she was born we had that ultrasound to find out what the unknown mass. It was gone!!!! 3 months after Victoria was born Ryan lost his job but gained one all at the same time. There was a decrease in pay but I picked up some hours at work plus started to teach Childbirth Education. Ryan and I didn't see each other that much because I worked when he got home so that one of us would be home with the girls.
So where are we now...Ryan has gotten some raises and he is almost making was he was making before...I cut back on my hours again...the girls are wonderful...the Lord is good!!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Confession Time
Ok, so this Easter I decided to make some of Alyssa's and Victoria's closest friends an Easter Basket...but a special one. This basket would have eggs for their moms and dads to hide...the point was to hide one egg a day starting a week before Easter....so starting on Palm Sunday. The kids would then find that egg for the day and it would begin to unravel the Easter Story and Jesus' last few days before his crucifixion and ending with his resurrection. Well I really thought that this would be a cute idea and fun for the whole family...and I was trying to stay away from all of the candy (I didn't stay away from the candy for Valentine's Day).
Guess what...I goofed. One of the days...probably the most important day beside the resurrection....his crucifixion...I got the wrong Bible verse on there. It was suppose to say Matthew 27:32-35...I said Matthew 32:35 in the directions that I wrote up...totally messed up. So here is a full hearted apology for messing up. I hope that all the children still had fun with egg hunt.
Guess what...I goofed. One of the days...probably the most important day beside the resurrection....his crucifixion...I got the wrong Bible verse on there. It was suppose to say Matthew 27:32-35...I said Matthew 32:35 in the directions that I wrote up...totally messed up. So here is a full hearted apology for messing up. I hope that all the children still had fun with egg hunt.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Chat Time with Alyssa: Session 4
Alyssa: Momma, may I have a sip of your soda?
Momma: Sure baby. Just a sip.
Sip Sip Sip Sip Sip....still drinking
Momma: Alyssa that's enough...that wasn't a sip baby.
Alyssa: It was a giant sip Momma!!
Momma: Sure baby. Just a sip.
Sip Sip Sip Sip Sip....still drinking
Momma: Alyssa that's enough...that wasn't a sip baby.
Alyssa: It was a giant sip Momma!!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Chat Time with Alyssa: Session 3
A view into Alyssa mind....
Momma: Alyssa please pick up your toys.
Alyssa: But momma...
Momma: Alyssa no buts, please pick up your toys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daddy and Momma are talking Blah Blah Blah...Daddy says to Momma" I know but.."
Alyssa says, "No buts Daddy! Right, Momma?"
Momma: Alyssa please pick up your toys.
Alyssa: But momma...
Momma: Alyssa no buts, please pick up your toys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daddy and Momma are talking Blah Blah Blah...Daddy says to Momma" I know but.."
Alyssa says, "No buts Daddy! Right, Momma?"
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Chat Time with Alyssa: Session 2
Alyssa: Momma, we need to read a chapter a day
Me: A chapter a day of what baby?
Alyssa: A chapter a day of the bible
Me: Sounds good to me, when did you come up with this idea?
Alyssa: Uncle Frank told me too.
Talking to Janet a few days later, I found out that one time that Janet was watching the girls for me at Faith4Life (and the girls stay in the same room where Frank is teaching the Book of James) that Frank said to the kids that they really need to spend 20 minutes a day with the Lord. I love how her mind works!!!
Me: A chapter a day of what baby?
Alyssa: A chapter a day of the bible
Me: Sounds good to me, when did you come up with this idea?
Alyssa: Uncle Frank told me too.
Talking to Janet a few days later, I found out that one time that Janet was watching the girls for me at Faith4Life (and the girls stay in the same room where Frank is teaching the Book of James) that Frank said to the kids that they really need to spend 20 minutes a day with the Lord. I love how her mind works!!!
God's Little Miracles: Alyssa's Story Part 3
So this is the final part to Alyssa's Story...phew you say...hopefully this one won't be as long :)
Alyssa arrives at Augusta and I am not that far behind...and of course since I can't be there when she is unloading I call ahead to Tobey (the nursery nurse that I work with and have come to adore)...can you please take some pictures of Alyssa when she gets to the floor (the floor had a Polaroid camera at that time to take pictures of the baby for the moms that had Cesarean Sections). A big belly laugh later and I am sure an eye roll on Tobey's part she said, "no problem!!" Of course I had her in her cutest outfit that my mom and I had bought because this would be the first time that my co-workers would be able to see her in person.
So I get up to the floor with Alyssa's suitcase (yes she had a suitcase full of clothes at that point) and a cooler full to the brim with the breastmilk that I had been pumping for her. I walked around the corner and the view of the nursery came to sight and everyone was smiling and talking about my baby girl (of course they were...how could they not?...she was and still is adorable!!). So I get up the nursery and everyone one gave me hugs and then say she is sooooo cute!!! I say thank you and we (Ryan and I) think that she pretty special. Tobey needs to get Alyssa squared away in the nursery and the pediatrician is there to check on her also...so the rest of the crew bring me to my room and then want to know all the details of what has been happening and what happened. So by the time that I talk to everyone and I get my stuff from the car and get settle it was a good time for me to go see Alyssa again. Tobey gives me the whole picture of what the pediatrician is thinking and she also gave the nursery's procedure (she knew that I already knew but that is sometimes the job...you have to make sure and not to just assume). Alyssa had to stay in the nursery for 48hrs and be monitored for that time...if she didn't show any moments of apnea (no breathing) she would be able to come out to my room and stay with me!!! We could cuddle with no wires getting in the way!!!
Two days past and Alyssa gets to ok to come out to the room with me...I loved it...I was completely surrounded by people that cared about me...Ryan could stay with me at night because he would just shower and go to work from the hospital...sometimes he came for lunch...Dad came over for lunch most of the time...Mom and Dad would come over some nights for supper...and my baby girl was with me!!! We had to feed Alyssa every 3 hrs so what I would do is wake up, pump, feed Alyssa, and put her back in the crib and then try to sleep for 2 hours and do it all over again. The nurses finally convinced me that with the stock of milk that I had in the freezer and frig, I could take one time of feeding her off and they would do it for me...so all I would do is wake up and pump and go back to sleep...that actually helped a lot.
I believe that it was about three days after that I found an envelope on my pillow when I came back from a small trip just to get out of the hospital for an hour...this envelope had a letter in it that I had to be back to work in a week or I would loose my position. WHAT!!!...I had a preemie that probably wouldn't even be home yet and I was supposed to leave her. I went to my manager office and before I could say anything she said ok I am working on it and here is the scoop...when you went out for your back (I had hurt my back at work earlier in the year around Feb before I was pregnant and I was out for about 8 weeks) you used some of your FMLA time and that is what is messing up your maternity leave...I have contacted an Employee Advocate for you already and they are working on it. I asked her what was the worse case scenario...she said that she would have to post my position and hopefully we would have people cover my time til I could come back and then I would have to reapply and just loose my seniority. Ok...well that wouldn't be that bad but my goodness...I hurt myself on their time and now it is affecting my family time...that just seems so wrong!!! About 3 hours later, another envelope is delivered to my room...this letter says that I am not due back until 12 weeks from Alyssa's birth!!! Great!!! But confused so I got to my manager's office again and she is just all smiles...Happy to see that letter, she asked....ummm yeah...but how?....the employee health person that handled your case for you forgot to have you sign some papers so it wasn't legal for them to take the time away because you hadn't sign those papers...so you have your full 12 weeks of FMLA. Yahoooo....Praise the Lord!!!....a complete intervention from the Lord.
About three days after that, Alyssa is not needing the feeding tube anymore...she is starting to drink from the bottle. She isn't latching on yet but we are working on it and I know that it will come. It was a day after her feeding tube came out...she actually was showing some interest in latching on so one time in our room she latch on and I was sooooo excited. I was in my glory sitting in bed with all the pillows around me and my baby girl was nursing...I felt her nursing and then all of a sudden I didn't feel that anymore...I looked down and my baby girl was BLUE!!!!!! Not just a little but a lot...I couldn't really move because of all of the pillows...I called for Ryan to go get a nurse and all of could do was try to inch myself to the side of the bed and tilted her head back to open her airway...Diane Duda just happened to be walking by my room when I yelled at Ryan to get some one...she came in...saw Alyssa...grabbed her and ran her to the nursery...yelling I need some oxygen now...I tried to follow but my legs were jello...we made it to this point and I have killed my baby...that is what was going through my head...I wanted to get to the nursery so bad and I was trying and Ryan was trying to help...my legs felt like they had no bones in them and I am barely keeping conscious...over and over in my head I was kept on thinking...my baby...my baby...I just killed my baby (tears are racing down my face)...well I finally got to the nursery and they were suctioning her out and giving her some oxygen and she was crying...Tootie one of the nurse grabbed me sat me down, hugged me and said she is ok, she is fine...listen to her scream...she is really ticked off of at them...Devon look at me...she is going to be ok...and then Deb brought her over to me and there was my little girl...pink as can be and when she came into my arms she stopped crying. THANK YOU JESUS!!! Another intervention from the Lord. What we found out is that babies need to learn how to suck, swallow AND breathe (duh) but that this reflex really isn't developed until 36 weeks gestation...Alyssa only got to 31 1/2. So she needs to learn that and we need to teach her...it just happen to be that her first episode of deciding not to breath was while she was latched on and I needed to remember that and not give up on breastfeeding.
So five days after that, Alyssa hadn't had anymore episodes, she was suck, swallowing and breathing while she ate, she was over 5lbs and the doctors said she was ready to come home. REALLY!!! It was December 5th and she was able to come home!!! The NICU told me that it wouldn't be until her due date...she is doing that well!!!
So what is Alyssa up to now....everything...you would have no idea that she was a preemie...no complications at all...that small hole in her heart...completely closed!!! She's a tigger!!! And she nursed until she was 2 years old!!!
So why did I feel like I needed to share this story???...a couple of reasons...God is always there with you and holding you in his arms when you feel like you can't go on...He never leaves your side. The other reason and this one is the hardest for me...my little girls are on loan to from our heavenly father...he is in control at all times even when I am fighting for it...He knows what is best for the girls and I need to surrender that control to him (even if I don't want too)...he knew that Alyssa would be fine...He has a plan for us all and we need to look towards him to find out that plan...do you know how great it was to be able to share my story with moms that came in to my floor and I was transferring them to Portland...I knew all their fears and their questions and I could empathize with them. God is amazing and my prayer during my quiet time is..."Lord, help me raise my girls the way you want and not the way I want."
Alyssa arrives at Augusta and I am not that far behind...and of course since I can't be there when she is unloading I call ahead to Tobey (the nursery nurse that I work with and have come to adore)...can you please take some pictures of Alyssa when she gets to the floor (the floor had a Polaroid camera at that time to take pictures of the baby for the moms that had Cesarean Sections). A big belly laugh later and I am sure an eye roll on Tobey's part she said, "no problem!!" Of course I had her in her cutest outfit that my mom and I had bought because this would be the first time that my co-workers would be able to see her in person.
So I get up to the floor with Alyssa's suitcase (yes she had a suitcase full of clothes at that point) and a cooler full to the brim with the breastmilk that I had been pumping for her. I walked around the corner and the view of the nursery came to sight and everyone was smiling and talking about my baby girl (of course they were...how could they not?...she was and still is adorable!!). So I get up the nursery and everyone one gave me hugs and then say she is sooooo cute!!! I say thank you and we (Ryan and I) think that she pretty special. Tobey needs to get Alyssa squared away in the nursery and the pediatrician is there to check on her also...so the rest of the crew bring me to my room and then want to know all the details of what has been happening and what happened. So by the time that I talk to everyone and I get my stuff from the car and get settle it was a good time for me to go see Alyssa again. Tobey gives me the whole picture of what the pediatrician is thinking and she also gave the nursery's procedure (she knew that I already knew but that is sometimes the job...you have to make sure and not to just assume). Alyssa had to stay in the nursery for 48hrs and be monitored for that time...if she didn't show any moments of apnea (no breathing) she would be able to come out to my room and stay with me!!! We could cuddle with no wires getting in the way!!!
Two days past and Alyssa gets to ok to come out to the room with me...I loved it...I was completely surrounded by people that cared about me...Ryan could stay with me at night because he would just shower and go to work from the hospital...sometimes he came for lunch...Dad came over for lunch most of the time...Mom and Dad would come over some nights for supper...and my baby girl was with me!!! We had to feed Alyssa every 3 hrs so what I would do is wake up, pump, feed Alyssa, and put her back in the crib and then try to sleep for 2 hours and do it all over again. The nurses finally convinced me that with the stock of milk that I had in the freezer and frig, I could take one time of feeding her off and they would do it for me...so all I would do is wake up and pump and go back to sleep...that actually helped a lot.
I believe that it was about three days after that I found an envelope on my pillow when I came back from a small trip just to get out of the hospital for an hour...this envelope had a letter in it that I had to be back to work in a week or I would loose my position. WHAT!!!...I had a preemie that probably wouldn't even be home yet and I was supposed to leave her. I went to my manager office and before I could say anything she said ok I am working on it and here is the scoop...when you went out for your back (I had hurt my back at work earlier in the year around Feb before I was pregnant and I was out for about 8 weeks) you used some of your FMLA time and that is what is messing up your maternity leave...I have contacted an Employee Advocate for you already and they are working on it. I asked her what was the worse case scenario...she said that she would have to post my position and hopefully we would have people cover my time til I could come back and then I would have to reapply and just loose my seniority. Ok...well that wouldn't be that bad but my goodness...I hurt myself on their time and now it is affecting my family time...that just seems so wrong!!! About 3 hours later, another envelope is delivered to my room...this letter says that I am not due back until 12 weeks from Alyssa's birth!!! Great!!! But confused so I got to my manager's office again and she is just all smiles...Happy to see that letter, she asked....ummm yeah...but how?....the employee health person that handled your case for you forgot to have you sign some papers so it wasn't legal for them to take the time away because you hadn't sign those papers...so you have your full 12 weeks of FMLA. Yahoooo....Praise the Lord!!!....a complete intervention from the Lord.
About three days after that, Alyssa is not needing the feeding tube anymore...she is starting to drink from the bottle. She isn't latching on yet but we are working on it and I know that it will come. It was a day after her feeding tube came out...she actually was showing some interest in latching on so one time in our room she latch on and I was sooooo excited. I was in my glory sitting in bed with all the pillows around me and my baby girl was nursing...I felt her nursing and then all of a sudden I didn't feel that anymore...I looked down and my baby girl was BLUE!!!!!! Not just a little but a lot...I couldn't really move because of all of the pillows...I called for Ryan to go get a nurse and all of could do was try to inch myself to the side of the bed and tilted her head back to open her airway...Diane Duda just happened to be walking by my room when I yelled at Ryan to get some one...she came in...saw Alyssa...grabbed her and ran her to the nursery...yelling I need some oxygen now...I tried to follow but my legs were jello...we made it to this point and I have killed my baby...that is what was going through my head...I wanted to get to the nursery so bad and I was trying and Ryan was trying to help...my legs felt like they had no bones in them and I am barely keeping conscious...over and over in my head I was kept on thinking...my baby...my baby...I just killed my baby (tears are racing down my face)...well I finally got to the nursery and they were suctioning her out and giving her some oxygen and she was crying...Tootie one of the nurse grabbed me sat me down, hugged me and said she is ok, she is fine...listen to her scream...she is really ticked off of at them...Devon look at me...she is going to be ok...and then Deb brought her over to me and there was my little girl...pink as can be and when she came into my arms she stopped crying. THANK YOU JESUS!!! Another intervention from the Lord. What we found out is that babies need to learn how to suck, swallow AND breathe (duh) but that this reflex really isn't developed until 36 weeks gestation...Alyssa only got to 31 1/2. So she needs to learn that and we need to teach her...it just happen to be that her first episode of deciding not to breath was while she was latched on and I needed to remember that and not give up on breastfeeding.
So five days after that, Alyssa hadn't had anymore episodes, she was suck, swallowing and breathing while she ate, she was over 5lbs and the doctors said she was ready to come home. REALLY!!! It was December 5th and she was able to come home!!! The NICU told me that it wouldn't be until her due date...she is doing that well!!!
So what is Alyssa up to now....everything...you would have no idea that she was a preemie...no complications at all...that small hole in her heart...completely closed!!! She's a tigger!!! And she nursed until she was 2 years old!!!
So why did I feel like I needed to share this story???...a couple of reasons...God is always there with you and holding you in his arms when you feel like you can't go on...He never leaves your side. The other reason and this one is the hardest for me...my little girls are on loan to from our heavenly father...he is in control at all times even when I am fighting for it...He knows what is best for the girls and I need to surrender that control to him (even if I don't want too)...he knew that Alyssa would be fine...He has a plan for us all and we need to look towards him to find out that plan...do you know how great it was to be able to share my story with moms that came in to my floor and I was transferring them to Portland...I knew all their fears and their questions and I could empathize with them. God is amazing and my prayer during my quiet time is..."Lord, help me raise my girls the way you want and not the way I want."
Monday, March 17, 2008
God's Little Miracles: Alyssa's Story Part 2
So three hours later I finally get to see Alyssa again. My little girl weighing 4 lbs 8.8oz and 18 inches long (which for 31 1/2 weeks that is a really good size!!!). Alyssa was hooked up to a CPAP machine that was helping her breathe, an IV running in her little hand and monitors hooked up to hear so that the nurses and doctors could monitor her vital signs. The CPAP machine was pushing air through her nose to make sure that she continued to breath and that machine was pretty much covering up her face...all I could see were her eyes and they weren't open. The good news was that she was breathing on her own with some help from the CPAP...she didn't have to be intubated which I really expected. Some more good news she was past 30 weeks so there should be no eye complications and we didn't need to have her eyes check. Ok so here are the scary possibilities...we have to do brain ultrasounds to make sure that she doesn't have any bleeding in her brain...the first scan looked normal, she has a pretty loud murmur which wasn't surprising but hopefully that will take care of it's self when the foramen ovale closes, she is breathing but is requiring help from the CPAP right now and there is a possibility that her body could succumb to sepsis. They were taking her blood every 6 hrs to make sure that her blood gases, electrolytes and White blood cell count were all ok. She is holding her own right now. I said for about an hour just looking at my spunky little girl just wishing that I could do something to make it go all away. I am a mom now...I am suppose to make all the hurt go away.
The nurse wheeled me to my room and this was even a harder part then leaving Alyssa in the NICU...Ryan had to stay in another room because they were pretty busy and I had a roommate. To make it worse my roommate had her baby in the room with her and that is what I wanted the most. I tried to fall asleep for about an hour and half and decided that I couldn't and wanted to go find Ryan. So I went and found Ryan and was at least in the same room with someone that I loved. I think around 5 I finally said that Mom was probably up and I went to find her and where they had let her sleep. I was away enough and went to see Alyssa...I sat with her a bit and the nurse came over and said that there was no change but that was a good thing in her book. The first day was pretty uneventful and the nurses we very supportive. I believe that this was day that Pastor Bill came to visit and pray with us. It was very appreciated and remember that he didn't have the correct badge on for Maine Medical Center but no one cared especially since it looked like he knew exactly was he was doing, where he was going and that Ryan and I were so happy to see him. This was the day that the doctor looked at me and said that Alyssa would start doing well and then we would have a major set back and that all preemies do that and that she would be in the hospital at least until her due date...January 8th and she was born November 10th. Alyssa was now one day old.
Day Two: Nothing too eventful except that she was becoming jaundice already and she needed to go under the bili lights. That was to be expected. They moved me to another room without a roommate and Ryan could stay right with me.
Day Three: They were starting to turning down the CPAP some to see how she would do. The blood cultures came back and there was no infection so they could stop the antibiotics. An ultrasound of her heart was down...there was still a murmur and the foramen ovale was still open. They also started her on TPN (pretty much they were giving her stuff through her IV for nutrients). Another ultrasound of her brain and that came back normal.
Day Four: They took her off the CPAP to see how she would do...they would test her blood gases in 6 hours to make sure that she was able to stay off the CPAP...she was still on oxygen...blood gases came back...they were not great but ok enough to stay of the CPAP and recheck again in 6 hours...blood gases come back she is holding her owe and she can stay off the CPAP...yaaahooo...so ok remember she is going to do good and then have a major set back. Ryan is at work because he didn't have any more vacation days...plus he has a house to build!!! The nursing staff moved me to the family room for a night so that I could be close to Alyssa one more night and while I waited for a room at the Ronald McDonald house.
Day Five: It is the weekend. Ryan has to make a tough decision...come down to Portland and be with Alyssa and I or have two good long days to work on the house with my dad and my uncle. We decided that he should work on the house and that my Mom would come spend the weekend with me. Ryan would come down at night time for a few hours and then drive home. I arrive at the NICU and Alyssa is not in her same spot...where is she...oh no...what happened??....she had the set back and I wasn't even there for her...my poor baby!!!....so that was what was going through my mind while I was washing my hands so that I could get into the NICU...a nurse must have seen the terror on my face because she smiled and mouth "it's ok" and then pointed of the side of the NICU near the wall and there was Alyssa. I walked in and she said..."we put the more stable babies near the wall and the more critical in the middle...she is doing so well we didn't think that she needed to be in the middle anymore." Oh...tears...a hug from the nurse and there is a chair waiting for me by her isolette. The nurses fed Alyssa through a feeding tube with breastmilk that I have been pumping for her every three hours (day and night)...she did a good job....3 hours later she didn't have any residual in her stomach so she could have more...my hungry little girl!!! Mom and I go get settled into the Ronald McDonald house.
Day 6: Alyssa is doing well...she is increasingly requiring more milk. I was in the waiting room talking to Ryan on the phone and my mom comes in running...first thought what happened...mom says "Come quick...her eyes are open!!!" I pretty much almost hang up on Ryan...and wash my hands...and go into the NICU and over to Alyssa's isolette...there is my beauty...eyes open and looking around..."Hi baby...it's your mommy...you are doing such a good job...keep up the good work...I love you soooo much!!!" The nurse had stopped the bili lights and taken off Alyssa's protective eye gear and Alyssa had opened her eyes while Mom was in there and then Mom ran to get me. The nurse then looked at Mom and I and said if you would like...you can go get some clothes for her because we now can dress her...I looked at mom...shopping...sounds good to me...we waited until she fell back asleep...and shopping we went. We hit the Baby-R-us and they had lots of preemie clothes...to adorable!! And there was talk about transferring her to Augusta because she is doing so well and MaineGeneral Augusta takes boarder babies to learn how to eat. I may be going back to my hospital and back home!!!
Day 7: Mom left to go to work...I went to the NICU...there are a few things that need to be done before Alyssa can go to Augusta...Alyssa is still requiring oxygen which is ok but they would prefer to see if she can be weened of the oxygen, she needs to have another brain scan (her third), another echo (ultrasound of her heart...her 3rd) and see how another day of eating goes. So they start the weening process of the oxygen and by the evening she is off the oxygen
Day 8: Alyssa is still doing well. She made it through the night without requiring oxygen and continues that way for the day. Also today was the ultrasound of her brain...everything normal...no bleeding. Yaaahooo!!! Two checks on the check list done and one more to go before we get transferred to Augusta.I leave the NICU around 11:30 and go to the Ronald McDonald house...ok some sleep before I go back again...back to the NICU for 6:30...that was my routine.
Day 9: Again another eventless night...today is the day that I meet with the Pediatric Cardiologist...he is the one that is going to perform the echo today...the foramen ovale was closed but there was still a murmur so that was not what was causing the murmur...Alyssa had an Atrial Septal Defect...small hole in wall between two the atrium of her heart...very common in preemies just depends which way the hole decides to go...will it grow or will it close by itself...so what does that mean for us...we need to see her when she is 6 months old...can we still go to Augusta?...yes because the doctors have said that the murmur seems to be getting quieter and not louder. Yay!!!
Day 10: I get to the NICU and the go time is 10:30...it is raining hard...but I couldn't be happier...once we get to Augusta...I will have my friends and family close...they have a room waiting for me so that I can stay at the hospital with her and Ryan can stay with me...and Ryan works in Augusta so that will work out perfect. In the back of my mind though I am waiting for the set back...where is it...why hasn't it happened yet? Alyssa was loaded into the ambulance for her ride up to Augusta...I can't follow...but am going to try to meet her there...boy is that ambulance trucking and with my little Kia in the rain...I am not.
More to come...stay tuned.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
God's Little Miracles: Alyssa's Story Part 1
So I said in my first post that Alyssa's birth would be a whole other story...well here is her story and it definitely shows how amazing, wonderful and faithful God is. Ryan and I were building our house (well actually Ryan, my dad and my uncle were...I was mostly supervising). We had just met with our electrician and Ryan and my dad were finishing up framing one of our downstairs bathrooms. I walked over to my parent's house (a whole 250ft away) and decided to pay some bills (my favorite thing to do). I sat down and realized that I forgot one of the bills and stood up and all of a sudden my pants were wet. I was like you have to be kidding. I know that towards the end of pregnancy some women do have the unwelcoming pleasure of suddenly peeing themselves but I was barely in my 3rd trimester (31 1/2 weeks) and it was already starting!! So I went to the bathroom and actually went the bathroom and changed my clothes and went back to my bills. About 5 minutes later, I got up again because I needed to get a pen that was actually working...my pants were soked again. Now I was concerned...did my water just break? Can't be...not now....not yet....I had 8 1/2 weeks to go. Some background...I work as a nurse on the Maternity unit in Augusta, so pregnancy, labor, and birth are very familiar to me. But a little too much knowledge can be trouble, my brain was racing with every idea - good and bad. I decided that I would call my Maternity Unit and just talk to one of the girls up there just to get my brain to calm down. So Linda answered the phone and I told her what had happened...she just said to me...if you were taking this phone call at work what would you be telling the woman to do...I said "I would say you have to come in and be seen"...she said yup and we hung up the phone. I called Ryan and said I think that my water broke but maybe I just peed myself (trying to convince myself I think) so you can continue working on the bathroom and can call you from the hospital. Ryan and my dad both said nope Ryan will go with you.
So off to the hospital I go. So we arrive at the L&D unit and I get myself settled into the room...I knew the girls on the floor were busy so I hooked myself up to the fetal monitoring maching...Ryan laughing at me the whole time. So I waited maybe 5 minutes...listening to Alyssa's heartbeat the whole time and it was strong and do the things that it needed to so I was at least content at the point...Alyssa was doing ok. The doctor comes in and does the usually exam to see if a woman's water has broken...I could tell by the look on their faces and the fact that the nurse that was assisting the doctor (one of my co-workers) were getting teary that my water had in fact broke. I also saw that blue nitrazine paper which confirmed it plus other medical blah blah. Well here come the water works...she can't come yet...it is way too early...what is going to happen...??? So my room is suddenly full of my co-workers, my manager, my doctor all trying to reassure me that it would be ok. Ryan is off to the side smiling...my baby is coming tonight...in his defense he didn't know all the complications that could happen and also if he would have freaked then I would have lost it even more. So Ryan calls my mom and lets her know. During all this chaos of getting me ready to transfer down to Maine Medical Center in Portland where there is a NICU, the crying stopped for a moment and I realized that I was going have a baby in November and that was the birthstone that I was going to have on my mother's ring. Now I am sorry if you are born in November but I was suppose to have Alyssa in January...a beautiful garnet and now November...a yellow topaz. Aaahhhhh...but it did add some comic relief through the chaos and it finally made me laugh. So they loaded me into the ambulance and off to Portland I go but Ryan couldn't ride with me and Ryan also couldn't follow the ambulance.
So I arrived at Portland with an uneventful trip and the wheel me through the ER up to the L&D unit. They hook me up to the fetal monitoring machine and again Alyssa's heartrate is strong and wonderful to hear. I arrived in Portland around 2:00-2:30 and not much happened or started happening til 5:30-6:00. I was just dealing with everything racing in my mind...would the baby be ok? (Ohhh yeah...we didn't know that Alyssa was Alyssa yet...we didn't know what the sex of the baby was.) So anyways...as a nurse I new way to much...and that was racing through my mind...the baby is not 32 weeks yet...the lungs aren't mature...surfactant was being made yet...she wouldn't be able to breath!!! So 6:00 comes along and the contractions are starting to come every 7 minutes and getting stronger. 7:00 rolls around and the doctor checks me again and I am not really dilating but the baby's head is getting lower and lower...and the back labor is getting worse...and yes I opted for an epidural and loved my decision...by 8:00 I wasn't in pain or discomfort at all. Actually I was on the phone with my manager at 8:10 and I was feeling great. 9:00 I was watching the baby's heart rate tracing and telling the nurse that I was starting to see early decelerations (the baby's heart rate was going down at the same time a contraction was coming and then going back up when the contraction was done)...the nurse looked at the tracing and agreed and went to ge the doctor...in that short two minutes that she left...I felt my bed get wet again...my water was leaking more. The doctor came in and I was completely dilated and was ready to push...but what about my baby...what about her heart rate...what about her breathing when she comes into this world???
After a few pushes (and after each push I was taking the fetal monitor and moving it myself so that I could hear her heart rate at all times). 9:21 A beautiful baby spunky girl was born (puddles of tears come). She isn't breathing...come on baby you can do it...Ryan did you hear that...she tried to cry...she is trying to cry...she is trying...keep trying baby...you can do it!!! Alyssa had a team of her very own...a neonatologist, a neonate nurse practioner, 2 NICU nurses and 1 respiratory therapist. Here Momma...2 seconds to kiss and snuggle your little girl...then I saw my little baby girl get wheeled out in an isolette to the NICU...I love you baby I whispered before she left my arms...
More to come another day....
So off to the hospital I go. So we arrive at the L&D unit and I get myself settled into the room...I knew the girls on the floor were busy so I hooked myself up to the fetal monitoring maching...Ryan laughing at me the whole time. So I waited maybe 5 minutes...listening to Alyssa's heartbeat the whole time and it was strong and do the things that it needed to so I was at least content at the point...Alyssa was doing ok. The doctor comes in and does the usually exam to see if a woman's water has broken...I could tell by the look on their faces and the fact that the nurse that was assisting the doctor (one of my co-workers) were getting teary that my water had in fact broke. I also saw that blue nitrazine paper which confirmed it plus other medical blah blah. Well here come the water works...she can't come yet...it is way too early...what is going to happen...??? So my room is suddenly full of my co-workers, my manager, my doctor all trying to reassure me that it would be ok. Ryan is off to the side smiling...my baby is coming tonight...in his defense he didn't know all the complications that could happen and also if he would have freaked then I would have lost it even more. So Ryan calls my mom and lets her know. During all this chaos of getting me ready to transfer down to Maine Medical Center in Portland where there is a NICU, the crying stopped for a moment and I realized that I was going have a baby in November and that was the birthstone that I was going to have on my mother's ring. Now I am sorry if you are born in November but I was suppose to have Alyssa in January...a beautiful garnet and now November...a yellow topaz. Aaahhhhh...but it did add some comic relief through the chaos and it finally made me laugh. So they loaded me into the ambulance and off to Portland I go but Ryan couldn't ride with me and Ryan also couldn't follow the ambulance.
So I arrived at Portland with an uneventful trip and the wheel me through the ER up to the L&D unit. They hook me up to the fetal monitoring machine and again Alyssa's heartrate is strong and wonderful to hear. I arrived in Portland around 2:00-2:30 and not much happened or started happening til 5:30-6:00. I was just dealing with everything racing in my mind...would the baby be ok? (Ohhh yeah...we didn't know that Alyssa was Alyssa yet...we didn't know what the sex of the baby was.) So anyways...as a nurse I new way to much...and that was racing through my mind...the baby is not 32 weeks yet...the lungs aren't mature...surfactant was being made yet...she wouldn't be able to breath!!! So 6:00 comes along and the contractions are starting to come every 7 minutes and getting stronger. 7:00 rolls around and the doctor checks me again and I am not really dilating but the baby's head is getting lower and lower...and the back labor is getting worse...and yes I opted for an epidural and loved my decision...by 8:00 I wasn't in pain or discomfort at all. Actually I was on the phone with my manager at 8:10 and I was feeling great. 9:00 I was watching the baby's heart rate tracing and telling the nurse that I was starting to see early decelerations (the baby's heart rate was going down at the same time a contraction was coming and then going back up when the contraction was done)...the nurse looked at the tracing and agreed and went to ge the doctor...in that short two minutes that she left...I felt my bed get wet again...my water was leaking more. The doctor came in and I was completely dilated and was ready to push...but what about my baby...what about her heart rate...what about her breathing when she comes into this world???
After a few pushes (and after each push I was taking the fetal monitor and moving it myself so that I could hear her heart rate at all times). 9:21 A beautiful baby spunky girl was born (puddles of tears come). She isn't breathing...come on baby you can do it...Ryan did you hear that...she tried to cry...she is trying to cry...she is trying...keep trying baby...you can do it!!! Alyssa had a team of her very own...a neonatologist, a neonate nurse practioner, 2 NICU nurses and 1 respiratory therapist. Here Momma...2 seconds to kiss and snuggle your little girl...then I saw my little baby girl get wheeled out in an isolette to the NICU...I love you baby I whispered before she left my arms...
More to come another day....
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Chat Time with Alyssa-Session 1
Mimi: Are you coming over for a sleepover?
Alyssa: I didn't know that I was coming over for a sleepover.
Mimi: I thought that is what we talked about last night
Alyssa: I know but I didn't know that it was today.
Mimi: Yeah Baby it is today!! Did you lose track of your days?
Alyssa: Yeah...I lose track of my mind
_______________________________________________
Mommy: Where did you get my cell phone?
Alyssa: When I was talking to Mimi...I didn't give it back. (giggle giggle giggle)
Aunt Janet: Did you kife mommy's cell phone?
Alyssa: (giggle giggle giggle) Yeah!!! I kifed it!! (belly laugh)
Alyssa: I didn't know that I was coming over for a sleepover.
Mimi: I thought that is what we talked about last night
Alyssa: I know but I didn't know that it was today.
Mimi: Yeah Baby it is today!! Did you lose track of your days?
Alyssa: Yeah...I lose track of my mind
_______________________________________________
Mommy: Where did you get my cell phone?
Alyssa: When I was talking to Mimi...I didn't give it back. (giggle giggle giggle)
Aunt Janet: Did you kife mommy's cell phone?
Alyssa: (giggle giggle giggle) Yeah!!! I kifed it!! (belly laugh)
Friday, March 14, 2008
My first attempt to blogging
I first would like to give credit to where it is deserved. Thank Mrs. Frank Johnson for this wonderful idea of blogging. I was a little afraid to do this but figured why not give it a try. So why did I decided to start this blog...well I find my life rather amusing at times and I also think that some of the things that my girls do to be down right hilarious so I thought that maybe I would share them with all of you. I also thought that maybe it would be a good time for me to just reflect on my life and start the journal that I never started.
Why did I choose the title that I did? The answer is very simple. I live with 3 tiggers. Growing up my mom, dad and I would always characterize people by the Winnie the Pooh characters. It was just something fun that we would do. When Ryan and I first started dating, my mom looked at me and said he is definitely a Tigger. I agreed completely. Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...whether it be from room to room or from conversation to conversation. He is loads of fun and the one that keeps our social calender packed with adventure after adventure. About 1 year and a half after we got married, we welcomed our first daughter into our lives. Alyssa was a spunky little girl from the moment she was first born (she had to be...she was born 8 and half weeks early...a whole other blog). She has continued to be just as active as her daddy and would like to be on the go all the time also...always asking what are we doing next momma? So Tgger number 2 entered my life. Almost three years after Alyssa's birth, we welcomed our second daughter into our lives. When Victoria was inside my womb, I told Ryan that I think that we have another Tgger on our hands because she was constantly moving. There was really little time of resting. She seemed to be moving and grooving non-stop. Well she has no problem keeping up with her sister or her father now and this is when Tigger number 3 entered my life. These three Tiggers keep my life busy and I love every minute of it.
So I hope you enjoyed my little story. More to come soon.
Disclaimer: For anyone reading this, this blog will not be that philosophical, political (well maybe), or that deep. Also you may find some typos so I apologize now.
Why did I choose the title that I did? The answer is very simple. I live with 3 tiggers. Growing up my mom, dad and I would always characterize people by the Winnie the Pooh characters. It was just something fun that we would do. When Ryan and I first started dating, my mom looked at me and said he is definitely a Tigger. I agreed completely. Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...whether it be from room to room or from conversation to conversation. He is loads of fun and the one that keeps our social calender packed with adventure after adventure. About 1 year and a half after we got married, we welcomed our first daughter into our lives. Alyssa was a spunky little girl from the moment she was first born (she had to be...she was born 8 and half weeks early...a whole other blog). She has continued to be just as active as her daddy and would like to be on the go all the time also...always asking what are we doing next momma? So Tgger number 2 entered my life. Almost three years after Alyssa's birth, we welcomed our second daughter into our lives. When Victoria was inside my womb, I told Ryan that I think that we have another Tgger on our hands because she was constantly moving. There was really little time of resting. She seemed to be moving and grooving non-stop. Well she has no problem keeping up with her sister or her father now and this is when Tigger number 3 entered my life. These three Tiggers keep my life busy and I love every minute of it.
So I hope you enjoyed my little story. More to come soon.
Disclaimer: For anyone reading this, this blog will not be that philosophical, political (well maybe), or that deep. Also you may find some typos so I apologize now.
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