God's Little Miracles: Alyssa's Story Part 3

So this is the final part to Alyssa's Story...phew you say...hopefully this one won't be as long :)

Alyssa arrives at Augusta and I am not that far behind...and of course since I can't be there when she is unloading I call ahead to Tobey (the nursery nurse that I work with and have come to adore)...can you please take some pictures of Alyssa when she gets to the floor (the floor had a Polaroid camera at that time to take pictures of the baby for the moms that had Cesarean Sections). A big belly laugh later and I am sure an eye roll on Tobey's part she said, "no problem!!" Of course I had her in her cutest outfit that my mom and I had bought because this would be the first time that my co-workers would be able to see her in person.

So I get up to the floor with Alyssa's suitcase (yes she had a suitcase full of clothes at that point) and a cooler full to the brim with the breastmilk that I had been pumping for her. I walked around the corner and the view of the nursery came to sight and everyone was smiling and talking about my baby girl (of course they were...how could they not?...she was and still is adorable!!). So I get up the nursery and everyone one gave me hugs and then say she is sooooo cute!!! I say thank you and we (Ryan and I) think that she pretty special. Tobey needs to get Alyssa squared away in the nursery and the pediatrician is there to check on her also...so the rest of the crew bring me to my room and then want to know all the details of what has been happening and what happened. So by the time that I talk to everyone and I get my stuff from the car and get settle it was a good time for me to go see Alyssa again. Tobey gives me the whole picture of what the pediatrician is thinking and she also gave the nursery's procedure (she knew that I already knew but that is sometimes the job...you have to make sure and not to just assume). Alyssa had to stay in the nursery for 48hrs and be monitored for that time...if she didn't show any moments of apnea (no breathing) she would be able to come out to my room and stay with me!!! We could cuddle with no wires getting in the way!!!

Two days past and Alyssa gets to ok to come out to the room with me...I loved it...I was completely surrounded by people that cared about me...Ryan could stay with me at night because he would just shower and go to work from the hospital...sometimes he came for lunch...Dad came over for lunch most of the time...Mom and Dad would come over some nights for supper...and my baby girl was with me!!! We had to feed Alyssa every 3 hrs so what I would do is wake up, pump, feed Alyssa, and put her back in the crib and then try to sleep for 2 hours and do it all over again. The nurses finally convinced me that with the stock of milk that I had in the freezer and frig, I could take one time of feeding her off and they would do it for me...so all I would do is wake up and pump and go back to sleep...that actually helped a lot.

I believe that it was about three days after that I found an envelope on my pillow when I came back from a small trip just to get out of the hospital for an hour...this envelope had a letter in it that I had to be back to work in a week or I would loose my position. WHAT!!!...I had a preemie that probably wouldn't even be home yet and I was supposed to leave her. I went to my manager office and before I could say anything she said ok I am working on it and here is the scoop...when you went out for your back (I had hurt my back at work earlier in the year around Feb before I was pregnant and I was out for about 8 weeks) you used some of your FMLA time and that is what is messing up your maternity leave...I have contacted an Employee Advocate for you already and they are working on it. I asked her what was the worse case scenario...she said that she would have to post my position and hopefully we would have people cover my time til I could come back and then I would have to reapply and just loose my seniority. Ok...well that wouldn't be that bad but my goodness...I hurt myself on their time and now it is affecting my family time...that just seems so wrong!!! About 3 hours later, another envelope is delivered to my room...this letter says that I am not due back until 12 weeks from Alyssa's birth!!! Great!!! But confused so I got to my manager's office again and she is just all smiles...Happy to see that letter, she asked....ummm yeah...but how?....the employee health person that handled your case for you forgot to have you sign some papers so it wasn't legal for them to take the time away because you hadn't sign those papers...so you have your full 12 weeks of FMLA. Yahoooo....Praise the Lord!!!....a complete intervention from the Lord.

About three days after that, Alyssa is not needing the feeding tube anymore...she is starting to drink from the bottle. She isn't latching on yet but we are working on it and I know that it will come. It was a day after her feeding tube came out...she actually was showing some interest in latching on so one time in our room she latch on and I was sooooo excited. I was in my glory sitting in bed with all the pillows around me and my baby girl was nursing...I felt her nursing and then all of a sudden I didn't feel that anymore...I looked down and my baby girl was BLUE!!!!!! Not just a little but a lot...I couldn't really move because of all of the pillows...I called for Ryan to go get a nurse and all of could do was try to inch myself to the side of the bed and tilted her head back to open her airway...Diane Duda just happened to be walking by my room when I yelled at Ryan to get some one...she came in...saw Alyssa...grabbed her and ran her to the nursery...yelling I need some oxygen now...I tried to follow but my legs were jello...we made it to this point and I have killed my baby...that is what was going through my head...I wanted to get to the nursery so bad and I was trying and Ryan was trying to help...my legs felt like they had no bones in them and I am barely keeping conscious...over and over in my head I was kept on thinking...my baby...my baby...I just killed my baby (tears are racing down my face)...well I finally got to the nursery and they were suctioning her out and giving her some oxygen and she was crying...Tootie one of the nurse grabbed me sat me down, hugged me and said she is ok, she is fine...listen to her scream...she is really ticked off of at them...Devon look at me...she is going to be ok...and then Deb brought her over to me and there was my little girl...pink as can be and when she came into my arms she stopped crying. THANK YOU JESUS!!! Another intervention from the Lord. What we found out is that babies need to learn how to suck, swallow AND breathe (duh) but that this reflex really isn't developed until 36 weeks gestation...Alyssa only got to 31 1/2. So she needs to learn that and we need to teach her...it just happen to be that her first episode of deciding not to breath was while she was latched on and I needed to remember that and not give up on breastfeeding.

So five days after that, Alyssa hadn't had anymore episodes, she was suck, swallowing and breathing while she ate, she was over 5lbs and the doctors said she was ready to come home. REALLY!!! It was December 5th and she was able to come home!!! The NICU told me that it wouldn't be until her due date...she is doing that well!!!

So what is Alyssa up to now....everything...you would have no idea that she was a preemie...no complications at all...that small hole in her heart...completely closed!!! She's a tigger!!! And she nursed until she was 2 years old!!!

So why did I feel like I needed to share this story???...a couple of reasons...God is always there with you and holding you in his arms when you feel like you can't go on...He never leaves your side. The other reason and this one is the hardest for me...my little girls are on loan to from our heavenly father...he is in control at all times even when I am fighting for it...He knows what is best for the girls and I need to surrender that control to him (even if I don't want too)...he knew that Alyssa would be fine...He has a plan for us all and we need to look towards him to find out that plan...do you know how great it was to be able to share my story with moms that came in to my floor and I was transferring them to Portland...I knew all their fears and their questions and I could empathize with them. God is amazing and my prayer during my quiet time is..."Lord, help me raise my girls the way you want and not the way I want."